Breathe
by christmasinacup
Summary: Joan and Arthur get an unexpected surprise that will have a huge impact on their lives, are they ready?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first multi-chapter fic with an actual plot instead of different character's POVs, so please bear with me. Arthur and Joan both come off a bit more emotional and soft than their characters, but it's a tricky thing to write. And feedback you have will be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)

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**Joan's POV**

I sat on the edge of mine and Arthur's bed in a grey cotton cami edged with lace, matching shorts, and my favorite yellow and purple swirly kimono. I had come home midday from work because I had felt extremely nauseous. Then I had slept for a few hours, got up, and made some tea. My stomach was in pain, and I couldn't tell why. There wasn't any virus going around that I was aware of. Owww. I rubbed my stomach while keeping my mouth clamped shut, the nausea coming in violent waves. What was going on? I hadn't been sick in almost 4 years. And I missed Arthur. Missed him like crazy, even though I had seen him around noon when I told him I was going home. I winced as my stomach ached. Was it PMS? That was possible. Suddenly, my blood went cold. Or it was…..

Shit. I dropped my the ground, grabbing my bag from the floor in front of my closet. I grabbed my calendar and flipped through it, searching. I documented everything, and I mean everything in this calendar. From meetings and things at work to personal things, like appointments, it was all here. Which meant _it _would be here. The piece of information I needed to reassure myself that everything was going to be alright. I flipped back further, growing worried. It shouldn't be back this far. This was almost 2 months. And then I saw it. And my mind went blank.

The door opened, scaring the hell out of me.

"Joan? Honey, how are you doing?"

Oh god. Arthur. He was home early. It was only 6, he shouldn't be home for a few hours.

He walked into our bedroom, taking off his tie and setting on my nightstand.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You're pale as a ghost."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Arthur walked over and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around me once I was standing. It was good thing too, or I would have collapsed.

"Arthur, I.."

"What is it, Joan?" He looked worried. I mentally crossed my fingers. Oh god, please don't hate me….

"I'm pregnant," I choked out. And then I broke down.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter 2! These first few chapters are a little short due to certain cliffhangers I wanted, but I promise they will get longer! Review please :)

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**Joan's POV**

"What? How?," Arthur said, stunned.

I sobbed," My medication ran out, and we, we were fighting, so… I didn't refill it, and…... then, a few weeks ago, we, we…. and then we… again… and I haven't had my period for almost two months, so I think… I'm…."

I couldn't believe it. I wasn't this type of woman. I was a work-hard-keep-your-shit-together-emotions-on-the-inside woman, and Arthur loved me for that. For my strength. This was a scenario I had never pictured myself in, and I had no idea what to do. For once, I didn't have the right answer.

Arthur pulled me closer, stroking my hair. And then his CIA training kicked in.

"How about I go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test, and you can get some rest."

I nodded, but didn't let go of him. I couldn't. He looked down at me, then slowly took my arms off his torso.

"Joan, it's going to be ok."

I gave a weak smile, whipping a few tears from my eyes. Then I walked over to the bed and laid down, unconsciously being careful not to lie on my stomach.

"Hurry back."

I will," Arthur promised, and walked out of the room. I pulled the covers around myself, trying clear my head. But all I could do was think. I was 38, but I'd be 39 by the time the baby came. Arthur was close to 46, and we were both very involved in our careers. We'd never discussed having a family directly, but we had both known it was something we wanted to focus on. He and his first wife hadn't had any kids, nor had he wanted to. _Joan, stop_, I told myself. _Sleep._ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, something I had learned in a yoga class I once took. I laughed to myself just thinking of that yoga class. I was 24, out of college and unsure of what to do, and completely anti-social. So I did something with other people that didn't require interaction. Maybe I should go back to yoga. Hmm. I drifted off, thinking about soothing music and stretchy-waist pants, something I would be needing soon anyway.

I woke up to see Arthur sitting on the edge of the bed in jeans and a black t-shirt, a rare occurrence.

"How long did I sleep?," I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh, I'd say only an hour or so," he said, looking at me cautiously. "How are you feeling?"

"What am I feeling? Everything. How I am feeling? I honestly don't know," I said, pushing my hair behind my ears. I knew neither of us wanted to mention the pregnancy test I assumed was in the brown paper bag on the dresser. I wish I didn't know. That I hadn't yet realized it. Because now I had to take that test, and I was too scared.

"Arthur, I –"

"Joan, you don't have to do it now. We can wait," Arthur said, reaching out and taking my hand, massaging it gently.

"No, it need to be done. I'm just scared, " I said. "Not scared of going deep cover in Nairobi, being in a room full of people I know are armed, standing up to Henry Wilcox, or anything I've ever done while at the CIA, but I am deathly afraid of that bag." I pointed to the dresser. "And even you can't protect me."

Arthur moved closer to me, sitting right next to me and taking my other hand.

"I can try, and at the end of the day, I love you. And I don't care what happens in the next 10 minutes."

I looked at him. I didn't want to say anything, but the rush of emotions came. I bit my lip and let out just some of what was flooding my mind. "Then I have to do it."

I got up, took the bag, and went into the bathroom. I sat on the bathtub ledge, preparing myself for what was coming.

"Do you need water?," Arthur asked awkwardly. I took another deep breath.

"No, but I need you."

He got up and walked through the bathroom door, and sat beside me. We sat in silence for a few minutes, then I took the pregnancy test box out and let the bag fall to the floor. I took out a test and walked over to the toilet. I took yet another deep breath.

"Let's do this."

5 minutes later, I was in Arthur's arms. We had left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and vowed not to look at it for 20 minutes. We sat on the bed, me in his lap with his arms wrapped around me. I turned around to face him and kissed him passionately. He kissed back, and it lasted for what felt like forever. We kept kissing, and I started to adjust my position so I was on top of him, kissing him his neck and burying my face in his shoulder. And then he pulled away.

"Honey do you think maybe…," he broke of, gesturing to my stomach. "I just want to be careful."

I nodded and sat up.

"You're right."

"Do you want to look?," he asked, pulling me into his arms again. I put my head against his chest.

"I don't know. It's going to determine our future, change the rest of our lives. I'm…"

"Scared," Arthur finished for me. "I know."

I got up, holding his hand and pulling him into the bathroom. He followed me, and when we got into the bathroom, I took the test off the counter but didn't look. We sat on the edge of the bathtub again, and we both stared at my hand, where the result was facing into my palm. I breathed in, and then out. Arthur gave a faint smile.

"You or me?"

I handed it to him, silently answering his question. He turned it over and looked at the oval in the middle of the test.

"Positive."


	3. Chapter 3

Volia! Chapter 3 :) Please review, feedback is super appreciated! And imaginary bagels if you can figure out The O.C. reference in this chapter :)

xoxo

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I didn't know what to say.

"Joan, do you want to talk about it now or later?"

"Now," I said, taking a few more yoga breaths. I had to deal with this, we both did.

"Ok, so we need to make a doctor's appointment to get you checked out, make sure this is really happening. I can call now, try to get one tomorrow," Arthur said, getting up to get the phone. I nodded.

"Ok, I'll work a half–day, and we'll tell everyone I had a stomach bug," I said, following him into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, listening as he called the doctor's office.

"Hello, this is Arthur Campbell, I would like to make an appointment for my wife, Joan. Yes. Her doctor is Dr. Rowan. Yes, thank you. Could she squeeze it in tomorrow? 11? That would be great, thank you."

He hung up and placed the phone in it's holder. He walked around the island to the opposite side where I quietly stood and kissed my cheek.

"We can have a lunch meeting and you can tell me what you learn," he said. I nodded. I was kind of hoping he offered to come with me, but then again it would be good to go alone. I couldn't keep him from work anyway, it was a tough situation at the Agency right now.

I glanced at the clock. "God, I'm hungry."

"How about takeout? Chinese or Italian?"

"Italian," I said, smiling. Food sounded like the most perfect thing in the world right now, the answer to everything. _And so it begins,_ I thought.

I woke the next morning and got dressed, I could hear Arthur in the shower. I put on black pants and a light blue oxford–style blouse, buttoning it slowly. I stared down at my stomach, wondering how I would dress for work in a few months. They probably don't make maternity dresses like the ones I wore most days. I would rather wear a dress today, while I still could, but the doctor might need to do an ultrasound or something. I sighed. Was I ready for this to become my life? It was safe to assume that becoming a mother would slow my career down. I slipped on a pair of black pumps. At least I could still wear heels. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee.

Arthur walked into the room in an undershirt and suit pants, his hair still wet.

"Morning," he said, taking the cup of coffee I held out to him.

"Morning," I said. "I'm going to go soon. The doctor's office is 45 minutes away, so I need some driving time."

"Ok. I'm going to work soon too," Arthur said. "Come in when you get back, we'll have lunch."

"See you then," I said, smiling and kissing him.

I sat in a chair in the waiting room. The people around me flipped through People magazines, but I needed to think. I needed to be prepared for that test I took to be right, for me to be pregnant. _Deep breaths,_ I told myself. _You can do this._ A nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Joan Campbell?"

I rose to my feet, picking up my bag. I walked through the door and followed the nurse down the hallway to the door marked '.' I slipped through the door, and the nurse said," The doctor will be right with you."

"Thank you," I said. I pulled out my Blackberry and read a new report on Russian arms._ Inhale, exhale._

"Joan? Hi, how are you doing?," I looked up to see Dr. Rowan in the door way. She was a pretty 40-something blonde with deep brown eyes. I usually disliked doctors due to their suspicions and questions when you came in with strange wounds from field work. I started seeing Dr. Rowan after I got my job as head of the DPD and stopped most of my field work, so I hadn't had to deal with any of that, but I liked her all the same.

"I'm good. I think I might be…." I paused. "Pregnant."

"Really?," she looked up from the file she had been reading. "Well I guess we have some tests to do. How are you feeling about it? Scared? Nervous?"

"Yes," I confessed. "Terrified. My husband and I are very career-oriented, and I don't know if we ever planned on having a family, or if we can do it at all."

Dr. Rowan smiled. "That's always hard. I can tell you that most women who come in here with that problem leave 9 months later happier than they could have ever imagined. If you follow me, we'll do an ultrasound."

I nodded and followed her down the hallway to a room with an ultrasound machine. I sat down, slipped off my shoes, and unbuttoned my shirt, and she squeezed the cool jelly onto my stomach.

"So, how did you know you were pregnant?," she asked, moving the sensor over the jelly on my stomach. I cleared my throat, preparing myself.

"Well I came home sick from work the other day, which I haven't done in nearly 4 years, and I felt odd. I thought it was cramps, and then I realized I hadn't gotten my period in a while."

"Uh huh," Dr. Rowan said, looking at the machine. "Are you on any birth control?"

"Yes," I admitted. "But my husband and I were fighting a few months ago, so refilling my prescription just sort of slipped down my list of priorities." I silently reprimanded myself for being so irresponsible.

"Well," Dr. Rowan said. "Congratulations, Joan. It looks as if you're about 7 weeks pregnant."

She gestured to the machine. "Want to take a look?"

I breathed deeply and lifted my head to see the darkly colored blob on the ultrasound machine. I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled softly at the machine. My baby. Well, mine and Arthur's. For once, this whole thing didn't seem impossible.

"Thank you, Dr. Rowan," I said. She smiled and handed me a washcloth for wipe up my stomach.

"My pleasure. We have a few more tests to run, but we can do that back in my office."

I buttoned my shirt and got up, slipping into my shoes. I followed her back down the hallway to her office, feeling more confident about my pregnancy than I had when I found out. Now I had to meet Arthur for lunch and tell him everything. I knew a family wasn't something he desired, but neither had I, and here I was warming up to the idea already. It might be heard, but I would convince him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 has arrived! Again, feedback greatly appreciated... this chapter is in Arthur's point of view, if his character is a bit soft it's because I have currently had a lot of influence from another character Peter Gallagher has played. But it's fan_fiction_, so don't go all crazy if it's not 110% accurate. Read and enjoy! :)

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**Arthur's POV**

"Arthur we need to step it up," Bill said, showing me the latest pictures from the security camera outside a warehouse in Amsterdam. "This arms dealer is on the move and we have a lot of ground to cover."

"We need to send someone over there, but not Walker, she's not ready. Try to get Williams on board," I said, shuffling some papers together. "I have a lunch meeting, we'll get David in here to strategize later this afternoon."

Bill chuckled. "Lunch meeting. With Joan, by any chance?"

I could sense the irritation in his tone, but I ignored it. His attitude towards Joan, though not to her face, was bitter and childish.

"Yes, she's my wife. Why not?"

"No reason. I'll see you later, Arthur."

I nodded at him and he left the room. Joan had been right a few months ago. Bill, Ken and David were just waiting to block Joan from the inner circle. There had been a lot of talk when she had become head of DPD, thankfully it didn't take too long for them to see how good she was at her job. Those three were just waiting to replace her, and eventually me. And now it was possible Joan would be taking some maternity leave_. It could be a mistake_, I thought. _You may have nothing to worry about. Just be prepared for either scenario._

"Arthur?"

I looked up to see Joan in my doorway, holding her bag. She walked up to my desk and kissed me, and smiled back at her. I walked around the desk to her and guided her into a chair in front of my desk. She blushed. "Arthur, I'm fine," she said, but a soft smile played on her lips. I stuck my head out of my office and told my secretary not to bother me unless it was very important, I was in a meeting.

"So….," Joan said once I sat down in the chair next to her. She took my hand. "Do you want to see the ultrasound?"

I nodded, unsure of what to say. She took a picture out of her bag and held it out to me, pointing one of her perfectly manicured (clear polish) nails at a small blob.

"That's the baby."

"So, you're pregnant," I said carefully.

"Yes, about 7 weeks," Joan said, her face glowing. I looked at her. Her tune had changed dramatically from last night, when she was scared to death. I wanted to support her, so I asked, "How was the rest of the appointment?"

"Good. We did a few more tests and she's going to schedule another appointment for me in a few weeks to meet with obstetricians. I'm feeling a lot better about this, Arthur. I really believe we can do it."

I smiled and reached for her hand. She smiled at me, a look in her eyes I recognized as the same look from our wedding day. Pure love and admiration. And I felt it too.

"Me too."

Joan's voice suddenly became business-like. "So I think we should wait until I'm 3 months along to tell the DNI and the board, I can just start wearing shirts and pants to work until I start showing enough that people can tell."

I laughed. There was the Joan I knew and loved. I kissed her. "Of course, honey."

We smiled at each other for a few seconds, sitting in silence. Then I cleared my throat. "Do we need to do anything else?"

"Yes, there a few vitamins I need, I already picked them up on my way back here," Joan said. "Can we eat? I'm starving."

I chuckled. "Of course."

That night, we sat on the couch after dinner looking at pregnancy websites on my laptop. Joan was leaned up against me, and the feeling of her in my arms as we read tips for first-time parents soothed me.

"I only wish we could talk to someone in the CIA with children about how it affected their life," Joan said wistfully.

"How about Henry Wilcox?," I joked, rubbing her arm. "He might have some good tips."

Joan laughed, turning around to face me. "On what? How to make your child resent you? No, I want our child to love us. I already love her….. or him."

"Me too," I whispered, kissing her neck.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?," I asked, kissing her shoulder and neck more as she allowed me access.

"Hmmmm…... I'm not sure," she said thoughtfully. "Do you want to find out before the baby is born?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "Why don't we wait until that times comes."

"Ok, " she said, snuggling into my arms. She yawned, and I looked at the clock. It was only 9, but I thought some extra sleep would be a good idea.

"Joan, honey?," I said, stroking her hair.

"Mhhm?," she responded, closing her eyes. She looked angelic with her pale blonde hair framing her face.

"How about we get in bed early?"

"Mhm, ok," she said sleepily. She moved the laptop to the coffee table and got up, stretching. She walked into the bedroom slowly, I could tell she was exhausted. When she got to the doorway, she turned around and said seductively, "Aren't you going to join me?"

I grinned, a glint in my eye. "Yes, of course." I walked to the door, and when I got there I kissed her, unbuttoning her blouse. I slipped my hands under it and rubbed her stomach, surprised to see it already felt hard, as if the baby was right there. She smiled and kissed me back. I swung her up into my arms and laid her on the bed, carefully undressing her. She kissed me, but she was practically falling asleep as I slipped off the black sweat pants she had put on when she got home. I broke our kiss and put her in one of my flannel pajama shirts. It was staring to get cold, and as sexy as Joan's lingerie was, it wasn't warm enough for tonight. Her eyes fluttered closed, then open and she looked down, then smiled up at me drowsily. She pulled the covers around her, and whispered, "Good night." Then she closed her eyes again and drifted off. I smiled and got myself ready for bed, slipping in next to her. I slid my hand into hers and closed my eyes, trying to clear my head.

The next morning, I woke up at about 6 am to Joan snuggled in beside me, softly kissing my neck. I turned over to face her.

"Well good morning to you too."

She giggled, and kissed me on the lips. "Good morning."

I pulled her closer, kissing her deeper. She responded by kissing a short path down my face to my ear. I unbuttoned the first few buttons of her shirt, kissing her chest. She let out a quiet moan and kissed me on the lips again, running her fingers through my hair. Suddenly, my alarm clock went off and she jumped away, leaving a few inches between us. I reached over and turned off my alarm clock, then sat up in bed. Joan sat up too, folding the comforter back and getting out of bed. She walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, then came back into our room and stripped my pajama shirt and her underwear off. I winked at her as I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth. She laughed and got into the shower. As I got dressed I heard her humming softly. I smiled. I knew we had to get ready for work, but I longed to be back in bed, with her in my arms.

I took one of Joan's looser dresses out of the closet and laid it on the bed, along with a white lace bra and matching underwear. She came out of the bathroom, naked and with her hair wrapped in a towel. She came over to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Joan," I warned, trying not to smile. "Don't do that, I just got dressed."

"Do what?," she asked, feigning innocence. She smiled and then slipped into her underpants and bra, taking the towel off her head and going into the bathroom for her hairbrush. As I heard her turn on the blow dryer, I wondered how long we would be able to keep her pregnancy from our co-workers. The plan was not to tell the DNI and the board for a few more weeks, but we didn't really know when it would become evident that she was pregnant. She could get morning sickness or start to show, she could be out and realize she couldn't have alcohol and… _You're over-thinking it, Arthur,_ I told myself. Just enjoy it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 is here... please review! Also, I would love a few baby name ideas, boy or girl. With her first obstetrician appointment coming up, Joan may know the baby's sex... or maybe not! (dun dun dun) Imaginary bagels to anyone with name ideas!

disclaimer: not my characters, or this might happen for real...

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**Joan's POV**

3 weeks later, I walked into my office feeling refreshed and lunged for my office trash can exactly 2 minutes later. Ugh. Morning sickness had started, and my stomach was starting to show slightly. I had a few more flowy tops that I wore to work and a few looser dresses, but Arthur and I had decided we needed to tell everyone at work this week. At least I had my first obstetrician appointment on Friday with Dr. Gabriel. Dr. Rowan said she would be there too, which made me feel better. But not better enough to resist throwing up in my trash can again. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door.

"Joan, it's Auggie."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Auggie was safe to let in. He couldn't see how awful I looked right now. I took a swig of water from my water bottle.

"Come in," I called. I reached into my purse for a pack of gum and stuck 2 pieces in my mouth as Auggie entered. The happy look on his face despite the fact that it was a Monday morning put a semblance of a smile on my face. He walked towards my desk, and held out a flash drive.

"This is the contents of that laptop that belonged to that Austrian businessman that Annie flipped last week. He says this is everything we need to complete the op."

"Thanks, Auggie," I said, reaching out and taking the flash drive from his hands. Auggie frowned.

"Joan, are you okay? It smells…. off in here."

_Crap,_ I thought. Auggie's heightened senses had picked up on the barf smell. Which reminded me that I had forgotten to take a few of my pregnancy vitamins. I reached into my purse and searched for the bottle.

"Just a little sick," I admitted to Auggie. I took out my gum, put two pills in my mouth, swallowed, and gulped down some water.

"Advil?," he asked.

"Um, yeah," I lied, "I just have a headache and I'm a bit queasy."

"Well, feel better," Auggie said. "Let me know if you need anything, Joan."

"Thank you, Auggie," I said, smiling warmly. He felt his way out and I breathed a sigh of relief. Auggie was perceptive, and even though I knew I could trust him, I couldn't tell anyone just yet. It was time to tell people. I got up and walked out of my office. As I walked past the rest of the DPD, anxiety kicked in. I started to breathe heavily, and I picked up the pace to Arthur's office. When I got there, his secretary saw me and immediately said, "He's free."

"Thanks," I said hurriedly, opening his door. When I walked in, he greeted he with a smile and got up from his desk. His smile faded as he got closer and saw the distressed look on my face.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"We have to tell everyone. Today."

Arthur's face stayed calm, but I could sense a little apprehension. "Well, honey, we knew we would have to do it sometime."

I knew we were both worried, a maternity leave at the CIA was rare. Almost everyone who worked here didn't have families because of how complicated it made work. If they did have children, they left the Agency when the baby was born. That wasn't the case with us; I wanted to keep my job and Arthur and I wanted our baby. As we walked down the hall to the elevator, Arthur took my hand. I smiled gratefully and squeezed it. We got in the elevator and Arthur pressed the button to take us to the eighth floor, where the DNI's office was.

I stared at the door marked "Director of Intelligence" and took another deep yoga breath. He was my superior and Arthur's, so he was the correct person to come to, but it felt odd. The DNI was a firm and efficient man named Steve Donovan. He had been the DNI since I started working at the agency, and I had an immense amount of respect for him. Arthur knocked, and he opened the door. He towered over me, even in my heels. He was about 6'3, with thick, deep gray hair and glinting hazel eyes.

"Arthur, Joan," he said, smiling. "Come in, please."

We walked through his door and I squeezed Arthur's hand tighter. Steve walked to his desk and stood leaned against it. He gestured to two chairs in front of him and Arthur and I sat down.

"So," Steve said, folding his arms. "What brings you two down here?"

I cleared my throat and looked at Arthur. He nodded, so I exhaled and said," Arthur and I are expecting a child."

Steve raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Really? An addition to the Campbell family? Well, congratulations."

"Thank you," Arthur said, strongly. "We wanted to inform you, but we also want to sort out Joan's maternity leave and things of that nature."

Steve nodded and got up, walking around his desk to his computer. "You're always one to think ahead, Arthur. When the date gets nearer you guys can come in here and we can work out the exact timing. I suggest sending an email out to your agents. Do you intend to come back to work, Joan?" He lifted his piercing gaze to me.

"Yes," I said, feeling a little shaky and nervous. I automatically felt defensive when my authority in the CIA was questioned. I knew that wasn't what Steve was doing, but all the same.

"I enjoy working at the CIA, it's where I belong. I fully intend to come back to work as soon as allowable."

Arthur smiled at me. Steve asked us a few more questions and we talked until he got a call saying he had a meeting in 15 minutes. He saw us out and we walked back to my office. As we approached the DPD, Arthur broke the silence we had from when we left Steve's office.

"I'm so proud of you, honey."

I turned to him and smiled. I glanced around to make sure everyone in the DPD was absorbed in their own matters before I leaned in and kissed Arthur on the lips. He kissed back, but we quickly broke away until we got into my office. Once my door was shut, I kissed him again and he kissed back, deeper. I ran my fingers through his hair and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in close. We were both so captivated by the kiss that we almost didn't hear someone knocking on the door.

"Joan? It's Annie."

Arthur and I broke apart and I called out, "Come in," as I smoothed my dress. Annie entered with a hardworking glint in her eye. She handed a few folders and said," I got all those field reports you wanted done, and I took over some Jackson's walk-ins this morning."

I took the folders from her and opened the top one, which contained detailed notes of seven walk-ins. The second was filled with paperwork, and the third was some translated documents. Annie was driven for sure, but I couldn't help wondering why she took on walk-ins. Arthur's phone rang and he answered it, walking to the other end of my office.

"Annie," I said, walking towards my desk and motioning for her to follow me. I put the folders on my desk. "Why did you take a walk-in shift? You're beyond that by now."

Annie shrugged. "Just keeping myself busy."

"Annie," I said, looking at her comfortingly. "Is this related to Ben by any chance?" I knew his death four months ago had been hard on her, and I had definitely noticed her trying to keep her schedule full during the day, busying herself so she wouldn't think of him.

"No," Annie said, smiling. "Just trying to help out. Auggie said you weren't feeling well, so I thought taking some extra duties would take a small load off for you."

I smiled. I knew that was only a part of it, but I was still grateful. "Actually…," I said, looking over at Arthur, who had just finished his phone call. He gave a nod of approval, and I looked at Annie and finished," I'm pregnant."

Annie looked at me, the news sinking in. Her face lit up and she said, "Really?"

"Yes," I said, smiling at Arthur. "About three months."

He came over to us and slipped his hand into mine. Then he turned to Annie and said, "Don't tell anyone yet." He turned to me and said," I just got a call from the DNI saying he thinks it would be best if we sent out a mass email."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't say a thing," Annie said, winking. She turned to walk out, and before she opened the door she turned back to us and said," Congratulations!"

Once she left, I kissed Arthur on the cheek. "I have work to do," I said sadly. "But I was thinking of leaving early if you wanted to….."

Arthur smiled. "Of course," he said, and he kissed back, then left the room. "See you at home."


	6. Chapter 6

I hope you guys like this chapter, I'm so thankful for everyone who reads and reviews this fic! Please continue to give feedback, it is very helpful ;) I am still looking baby sex and name ideas, so please contribute, there is only one chapter left until Joan and Arthur possibly find out. Enjoy!

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**Joan's POV**

_To the agents of the DPD:_

_My husband, DCS Arthur Campbell and I have some exciting news. We are expecting a baby. After the birth, I will take a short time off work and then return. We have yet to secure a temporary replacement, but we will inform you as soon as we do. Thank you. _

_Joan Campbell, Head of the Domestic Protection Division _

I stared at the email I had spent the last hour drafting. It was only five short sentences, but it had been very difficult to write. I saved it as a draft and started to pack up my bag. I would ask Arthur for his opinion when I got home. Since as of yesterday, Annie knew, we figured everyone else should by the end of the week. I rubbed my temples, a sharp pain had been accumulating there for the last thirty minutes. I shut down my computer and slipped into my coat, my hand brushing my stomach as I buttoned it. I was starting to show, it couldn't be denied. In fact, half the DPD probably had figured it out or thought I was getting fat. Which I sort of was. I slipped my bag over my shoulder and walked out of my office, locking the door behind me.

Most of my agents were still at their desks, headphones on or deep in conversations, a few on the phone. All but Jai Wilcox. He was staring at his computer screen twirling a pen in his fingers. He looked up and I quickly looked away. I walked through the DPD door and hid behind the part of the wall that wasn't glass. I saw Annie approach him, and he asked her a question. I couldn't see his face completely, but I was willing to bet he was asking about me. I saw Annie quickly shake her head and mumble something, then walk towards Auggie's office. Oh, dear. The last thing I wanted was Jai guessing and possibly telling his father. While I knew Henry Wilcox would find out eventually, I wasn't ready for whatever came along with that quite yet.

I left the building and walked to my car, pleased to see that Arthur's was already gone. I was looking forward to spending the night talking with him, relaxing into his arms with a glass of white wine. Wait, scratch that. I sighed. _No alcohol, Joan, remember?_ I turned the key in the ignition and started home. Oh well. Nine months without a slightly different lifestyle was worth it for this baby. Which reminded me, I had my first appointment with my obstetrician, , tomorrow. I wondered if Arthur would mind coming along. All those baby pictures and sonograms, the Lamaze classes ahead, everything would be less scary with him there to hold my hand.

As I turned into the driveway, the pain in my head suddenly grew sharper. I winced. I took the key out, got my bag, and walked inside. My head throbbed. I set my bag on the kitchen counter, shrugged off my coat and hung it by the door, then poured myself a glass of water. Ouch. I rubbed my temples again, then called out, "Arthur?"

He came out of our bedroom in his white undershirt and suit pants, barefoot. His face lit up, and he walked over and kissed me.

"Hello."

I giggled and kissed him back, setting down my glass. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself up against him, as if I hadn't seen him in years. I kissed him deeply. He responded by putting his hands on my face, kissing me just as deep. I was in heaven, kissing him. And then a sharp stab of pain in my head caused my to scream a bit. Arthur mistook it as a moan of pleasure, and lifted me onto the counter so I was straddling him. I tried to ignore it, but another, sharper stab came and I gave a yelp of pain, breaking the kiss. Arthur's eyes were confused, worried.

"Joan? Joan, what's wrong?"

I frowned, rubbing my temples. The stabs of pain became sharper. "It's my head, ugh….. it hurts like hell."

I moaned again, rubbing my forehead. Arthur handed me my glass of water and went into one of the kitchen drawers, digging around and producing a bottle of Ibuprofen. He handed me two pills. I took them from him but didn't put them in my mouth, I wasn't sure if I could.

"Do you think it's ok for me to take these? Since I'm pregnant?," I asked worriedly.

"I'm sure it's fine," Arthur said soothingly. He brushed some hair away from my face. I gave him a small smile before swallowing the pills. They slid down my throat, giving me slight nausea. I brushed it off, sliding the counter and into Arthur's arms. He guided me down, making sure I didn't slip. I smiled and slip my arms around his waist and leaned my forehead against his. We stared into each other's eyes and he kissed me. I kissed back, and another sharp stab of pain came. I ignored it, but I felt awful. I broke the kiss and made my way towards the couch.

"Joan? Are you okay?," Arthur asked concernedly. I felt more pain than I had before, it was overwhelming me. I turned to say something to Arthur, but I slipped into blackness.

When I woke up I was in a hospital room, Arthur looking down at me. He saw me open my eyes, and breathed a huge sigh of relief, quickly moving to sit on the side of my bed. I blinked a few times, confused. What was going on? Why was I in the hospital? The last thing I remembered was having a horrible headache and kissing Arthur in the kitchen. Arthur took my hand and squeezed it, then used his other hand to stroke my cheek.

"Arthur? What happened?"

"Honey, you passed out. You had an awful headache and –"

Dr. Rowan rushed into the room with a tall, dark haired woman. Her hair was in a ponytail and she held a clipboard. My guess was that she was a nurse, maybe the ER doctor.

"Joan! I'm so glad you're alright!," Dr. Rowan said, smiling. "Oh, this is Dr. Gabriel, your obstetrician."

I smiled and held out the hand that Arthur wasn't holding, and shook Dr. Gabriel's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you."

Dr. Rowan and Dr. Gabriel stood up the bed and I propped myself up. Arthur massaged my hand and looked to the two doctors questioningly.

"Dr. Rowan, what happened?," Arthur asked. He was acting calm, but I could tell he was worried. I was worried too. My hand instinctively flew to my small baby bump.

"Well," Dr. Rowan said, looking at her clipboard. "You passed out due to dehydration and lack of food. You were eating well and getting plenty of water for you, and some extra, but not enough for two. I don't think you realized that you need to eat and drink a lot more than you usually do. A lot of your food goes to the baby, especially now. You're fine, and the baby is fine. There's nothing to worry about."

"So she just needs to eat and drink more?," Arthur asked, relieved.

"Yes," Dr. Gabriel said. " A lot more. I usually say eat something every hour, even if it's just an apple."

I smiled gratefully and squeezed Arthur's hand. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, then got up and shook Dr. Gabriel and Dr. Rowan's hands. Dr. Rowan came over and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Take care, Joan. I'll see you soon."

"Ok, " I said. She walked out of the room, leaving us with Dr. Gabriel. Arthur came back over to the side of my bed and helped me get out of bed so I could stand up. I looked down and saw that I was wearing yoga pants and a maroon v-neck long sleeved shirt. I shot a confused look at Arthur and he just winked and said, "Later."

I held my hand out to Dr. Gabriel, noting her firm handshake. It was similar to the way mine usually was, but I felt unusually weak at the moment.

"Do we still have an appointment tomorrow?"

"Yes, 2 pm sharp. I'll see you then." She nodded to Arthur. "Are you joining us?"

He looked surprised and pleased. "I would love to." The he walked forward and pulled me into his arms as Dr. Gabriel left the room. I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"So, you changed my clothes while I was passed out?," I asked playfully as we walked out of the hospital. Arthur laughed.

"Well, I called the doctor first. But I thought you might be more comfortable when you woke up, so..."

We walked outside to a dark, cold night. I shivered, and Arthur rubbed my arms. When we got to the car, he opened the door for me. After I slipped in, he went around and got in too. He started the car and we drove towards home.

"So, you didn't change my clothes just to undress me?," I asked coyly, sliding my hand over his thigh. The look on his face was priceless: first, like someone electrocuted him. A few seconds later it changed to a look of pleasure, then alertness as he watched the road. I laughed. He was all too easy to distract sometimes. We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, a grin spreading over Arthur's face.

"What?," I laughed, kissing him on the cheek. He was still for a second, then swooped me up into his arms and carried me inside. When we got inside he laid me on the bed. He kissed me urgently, with passion. I kissed back just as hard, slipping in deeper and deeper. We were both careful of my growing stomach.

"Remember what we were doing when you passed out?," he whispered, kissing my neck. I moaned with pleasure.

"I may need to be refreshed."

Arthur slipped off my shirt, kissing me all over my chest. I kissed him back, tangling my fingers in his hair. We moved together for a while, kissing blissfully. After a while we broke apart, panting, and sat up against the headboard, my head against his chest.

"So, how was your day?," I asked, tracing a pattern on this thigh with my index finger. He gave a sigh of pleasure, then said, "Not too eventful. Yours?"

"Fine. Oh, can you read this?," I asked, getting up to find my laptop. I logged in to my work email and showed him the draft I had saved with my pregnancy announcement. I handed him the laptop then snuggled back in next to him. My body was still warm from our little moment, so even in just a bra I wasn't too cold. He reached for his glasses on the bedside table, then read it.

"That's good, honey. Do you want me to send it?"

"Sure," I said. "Then everyone will know when I get to work tomorrow."

"That's good," Arthur agreed. He kissed my stomach. "You're staring to show, baby."

I giggled, then stroked my belly.

"So, you're coming tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't miss it," Arthur said, rubbing my belly again. "Are we going to find out the sex?"

"Only if you want to," I said, looking at him. "Do you?"

"I don't know," he said. "Do you?"

"I think I do. It would make planning everything easier, plus I'm sort of anxious to know," I said carefully. I wanted this to be a decision Arthur and I made together. He smiled and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Then let's find out."


	7. Chapter 7

**Joan's POV**

The next morning I woke up to the sound of Arthur in the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes drowsily and got up, walking to the kitchen. I saw Arthur, already in a dark green sweater and black pants, bent over the stove, cooking something in a pan. The air smelled like coffee and bacon. _Mhhmmm_. I inhaled the wonderful aroma and sat down on a bar stool, leaned my elbows on the kitchen island as Arthur turned around. He handed me a cup of coffee and said, "Good morning, gorgeous."

I smiled and took a sip. "Thanks, honey."

"You look casual today," I observed, taking a few more sips as I watched Arthur cook. He shoveled some food onto a plate and brought it over to me, a proud smile on his face.

"We're only going to be at work for half the day. And besides, I want to look good when we go to the doctor's office. A suit would just look out of place."

He kissed me on the top of my head and set a plate down in front of me filled with scrambled eggs, three strips of bacon, and some strawberries. I tilted my head up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then dug in. After last night I wanted to try and eat more, but I was also starving. The food was delicious, and Arthur had never been that much of a cook, so it was also a rare treat. When I finished, I drank some more coffee and cleaned my dishes, the went to get dressed. I figured I would dress down too, so I went to my closet and took out a pair of comfortable jeans and a white v-neck sweater. It wasn't a maternity top, so you would definitely be able to see my bump, but it was no longer a secret. However, I did have to do some maternity shopping soon. I opened my underwear drawer and took out a pale pink lace bra and put it on. I frowned the second I clasped it. It felt very tight, so I loosened the straps, but it was still uncomfortable. I looked down and saw a surprising amount of cleavage popping out.

"Well, don't you look lovely," Arthur joked, wrapping his arms around me. "I don't think you even need to wear a shirt today."

I tugged on the bra. "It feels a little tight. It can't be too small, this is the same size I've worn for years."

"It's likely a pregnancy thing," Arthur suggested, handing me my shirt. "We can ask Dr. Gabriel about it later today."

"Ok," I agreed. I finished getting dressed and grabbed my purse. We left the house and got in the car, on our way to face the people in the DPD who had checked their email in between midnight and now. So, everyone. When we got to work, Arthur offered to walk me to my office, but I declined. I could face everyone on my own, and he had a few meeting that were rescheduled from this afternoon. We parted with a kiss, me already missing him as we walked in different directions. The second I pulled open the glass door to the DPD, I wished I had taken Arthur up on his offer. Everyone looked at me curiously as I walked to my office. I knew what they were thinking. _Hard-ass Joan, pregnant? There's no way._ However, the unmistakable bump in my sweater was proof. I was pregnant.

I closed my office door behind me, putting my bag on the couch, then sat down . I took a deep breath and took out my travel coffee mug. I closed my eyes and sipped, thinking about the quality time Arthur and I would have after our appointment.

_Knock, knock. _

"Come in," I called, sighing. I smiled the second I saw the flash of green light.

"Auggie," I said warmly. "How are you?"

"Good," he smiled, his eyes still lighting up a bit. "Congratulations. How are you feeling?"

"Weird. I'm hungry all the time and I woke up at 2 am to throw up," I said, laughing. Auggie was one of the only people around here who I felt I could open up to. He joined in and laughed with me.

"Do you want to feel my stomach?," I asked him quietly. He smiled and nodded.

"I'd like that."

I got up from the couch and walked over to him, gently placing his hand on my sweater. It felt strange since Arthur was the only person besides myself who had felt the baby before, but Auggie was careful and sweet. His hands were there for less than a minute, and when he took them away he held his arms out for me to walk into and said, "Congratulations. That's a very lucky little baby."

I blinked back tears and gripped Auggie tightly. I usually didn't get this emotional, or hug my agents, but Auggie was a good friend. I was also in a pretty bizarre emotional state. Last week, Arthur stepped out to get the mail while I was asleep, and when I woke up and he wasn't there I started to hyperventilate. He came in 2 minutes later to a knock-you-over hug and panicked look on my face. He thought it was hilarious and I was completely embarrassed.

The phone rang, bringing me out of my deep thought. I let go of Auggie and walked over to my desk to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Joan, it's Arthur. I need you in my office immediately."

"Ok."

I frowned and hung up. Auggie shifted his body in my direction.

"Everything okay," he asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure, Arthur wants to see me immediately," I said. "I'd better go."

I offered him my arm and guided him out of my office and to his, then walked quickly to Arthur's office. His assistant was gone, so I just knocked on the door. I heard a muffled," Come in," from inside and entered. Arthur had a look on his face I recognized all too well. Stressed and overworked.

"Arthur, what's wrong?"

"One of our operatives discovered a large-scale money laundering operation being run through a few of the nightclubs in Georgetown. It got violent last night, and we need to put an end to it. I've spent all morning pouring over this, I want to get someone in there before it gets too messy. I wouldn't ask, but Walker is the best one for the job."

I walked over to him and massaged his shoulders gently.

"Honey, you can't beat yourself up over this. Of course I can talk to Annie. You worry about the bigger things. I'm pregnant, but I can work just as well."

He smiled. "Of course, you are my wife."

I kissed him softly on the lips. "So we'll leave in two hours?"

He kissed me back. "How about one? We can get lunch before."

"Sounds perfect," I said, smiling. "I'll go talk to Annie."

A hour later, Arthur and I were getting in the car and driving to heading to a café about 15 minutes away from Dr. Gabriel's office. When we got there, Arthur put his arm around me and we walked to a table outside. We sat down and enjoyed a few minutes of peace and quiet. He ordered two coffees, then reached across the table for my hand. I smiled at him.

"So, how was your morning?," he asked.

"Good. Annie's in, she's eager for more field work."

"Good, that takes a load off."

"Oh, and you will never believe this: I got an email from Madison while I was in your office."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Madison? Your sister?"

"Yes. She wants to come visit, shop for maternity clothes, hold my hair while I throw up, all those fantastic things," I said, laughing. "But I haven't seen her in so long, not since our wedding. And I miss her."

"I don't see why not. She could come and stay with us in a few weeks, the only issue is work."

I frowned. "We definitely don't want my sister to know that I'm four months pregnant and working for a dangerous and high-profile government agency."

He laughed. "We'll figure something out."

We ordered and ate, our conversation mostly unrelated to work. It felt so good, it was almost as if we didn't work for the CIA, or even the same company. Like we were just a normal suburban couple. It was almost enough to make me want it for real.

Arthur and I entered Dr. Gabriel's office. I self-consciously put my hand on my stomach. It had become a habit whenever I got scared lately. Arthur noticed, and held my other hand. We sat down in the waiting room with a few other pregnant women, all pretty far along. I looked around the room at all the posters with pictures of babies, tips for expectant parents, etc. A deep yoga breath and a few squeezes of Arthur's hand later, a nurse came out of the office and called us in.

"Arthur and Joan Campbell?"

Arthur looked at me and whispered, "You can do this."

I smiled but didn't reply, walking into the office with Arthur. Dr. Gabriel was sitting at her desk. She smiled at us warmly.

"Arthur, Joan, how are you? It's nice to see you again."

"You too," I replied, standing awkwardly in the middle of the spacious room with Arthur by my side. Dr. Gabriel gestured to a large chair, not so different from the ones you see in a dentist's office closer to the wall.

"Joan, you can sit right there, make yourself comfortable. Arthur, why don't you take a seat next to her."

She sat down at her desk and opened a file on her computer.

"So, you're about four months along, and aside from that small episode a few weeks ago, you're in perfectly good health. All we need to do today is an ultrasound and a few tests so we can determine your due date. And if you want to know your baby's sex, we can talk about that today."

"Arthur and I have decided we want to know the baby's sex," I said shakily, looking at Arthur. He nodded at Dr. Gabriel, who smiled. She got up and pulled an ultrasound machine from the back of her office.

"Joan, are you ready?," she asked. I nodded and pulled up my sweater. Arthur came over and stood next to the chair, taking my hand. He smiled at me, and I tried to smile back, but I was too nervous. I blinked back a few tears and bit my lip.

"You're going to do fine," Arthur reassured me. I closed my eyes, a rollercoaster of emotions roared through me. I was scared of nothing, I was just sensitive and confused. I wasn't even having that baby, just finding out if the child I was about to spend the rest of my life raising was a boy or a girl. At least I had Arthur to hold my hand and kiss me when I cried. It was more than I ever could had hoped for in a husband.

I could feel the arm of the machine sliding around in the jelly on my stomach, and I heard the noises coming from the machine. Arthur gently squeezed my hand and I heard his whisper, "Oh, wow."

"Joan, do you want to take a look?"

I opened my eyes and looked at the screen. Dr. Gabriel was pointing at a blob towards the bottom of the screen with a warm smile on her face. Arthur hesitated, then said," I know it should be obvious, but without my glasses I can't tell which sex the baby is."

I couldn't keep a straight face any longer, and I let out a big laugh.

"Honey, you couldn't tell if you had a magnifying glass," I said lovingly as he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

Dr. Gabriel handed him a slip of paper folded in half.

"I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes," she smiled, walking towards her door. When it closed, I sat up in the chair.

"Arthur, do me a favor and just tell me what it says without any stalling."

Arthur looked taken aback but said, "Whatever you want, honey."

He kissed my cheek again, and then unfolded the paper.

"We're having a girl."

We looked at each other, my eyes teary. Arthur wiped the corner of my eye with his thumb, then put one hand in mine and one on my stomach. He kissed it and I laughed.

"Hey, baby girl."

I smiled and kissed Arthur passionately, melting into him. He put his hands on face and kissed back, letting my hormones take over the both of us. I was overwhelmed with happiness, I didn't even realize that Dr. Gabriel had re-entered the room. Arthur broke away and coughed, causing me to look up, blushing. Dr. Gabriel smiled and said," That little girl is lucky to have parents who are so in love."

I smiled and pulled my sweater down, relaxing back into Arthur's arms.

"What else do we need to do?"

"Joan, you have a few tests and then I'll see you again in 3 weeks. By then we will be able to project your due date."

An hour later, Arthur and I left the doctor's office. It was almost four o'clock, but we decided to just go home. The front door closed and I immediately threw myself on Arthur with another passionate kiss. He laughed and kissed back, and we sunk into bliss. I had never been so happy in my entire life.

* * *

Reviews greatly appreciated! An awesome person pointed out to me that the timeline for Joan's pregnancy is a little fuzzy, so I put this together:

Chp. 1 - unsure

Chp. 2 - anywhere from 5-8 weeks

Chp. 3 - 7 weeks (1.5 months)

Chp. 4 -7 weeks

Chp. 5 –10 weeks (2.5 months)

Chp. 6 – 13 weeks (3 months)

Chp. 7 – 13 weeks

This is how far along Joan is in each chapter, I will update every few chapters. There were some gaps that needed to be filled, so thanks again to **J** for pointing that out!


	8. Chapter 8

Here is chp. 8! I hope you enjoy it, my total obsession with music finally slipped in there. Thank you so much to the readers who pointed out the coffee thing, I got it fixed! Feedback is greatly appreciated :)

* * *

**Joan's POV**

"I cannot believe you!," I yelled at Arthur as I slammed our front door behind me. "I cannot believe you let him disparage me like that!"

"What do you mean?"

"You know very well what I mean! Ken says something degrading about women in positions of authority and you just sit there!"

"Oh, please," he snorted.

"You could have defended me after his slew of sexist remarks!," I screamed, growing angrier. I was choking back tears, but I wouldn't be able to hold them off much longer.

"They were nothing of the sort."

"Yes, they were! And I'm right across from you, your _pregnant wife_! What everyone else must have been thinking…."

"I didn't know you cared so much about what other people thought!," Arthur shot back.

I didn't answer, I just wiped the tears from my eyes. I walked to the bedroom, and without even turning around said, "Maybe you should sleep on the couch tonight."

I closed the door and took off my clothes, slipping into a pair of green and white pajama pants and a black tank top. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers around me, sobbing freely. I thought all of this, the fighting over work matters 24/7, Arthur sleeping on the couch, silent car rides, was over. Had we been getting better, or had we just floated into a few months of bliss? I put my hands on my belly and tried to soothe myself, but all I could think was: _What if she grows up listening to her parents fight?_ What if our happy phase was just that, a phase. I got hit with an overwhelming wave of fatigue and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would be better.

When I woke up I rolled over, expecting to see Arthur's warm smile. The one full of love and happiness that I was greeted with every morning now. Instead I got an empty bed. Last night flooded back to me, and I looked at the bedroom door, where our briefcases always sat. Arthur's was gone. Mine had a post-it note on it. I got up, dragging the covers with me like a cape. The note said:

_Joan,_

_I got an email early this morning and needed to go into work. I don't want you to worry, I'll tell you later. Dinner in tonight? _

_I love you,_

_Arthur_

Typical Arthur. Until he apologized, I would go about my work as usual. I wasn't sure what this high priority mission was, but I fully intended to learn when I got to the DPD. I took a quick, hot shower and got dressed in a grey skirt and a white blouse. I couldn't do a few of the buttons in the middle, so I took it off and put a plain white tank top underneath. It worked, but I would need maternity clothes in a few weeks. Hopefully when Madison visited we could do that. I went into the kitchen and poured myself a travel mug of tea. Last week, one of the girls who worked at the Starbucks counter in the Agency noticed I was pregnant and told me it was bad for you to have coffee while you were pregnant. I called Dr. Gabriel, and sure enough, no coffee. I had been in a bad mood all day, but slowly adjusting to tea. I ate quickly and got in the car, eager to get to the Agency and deal with whatever was going on.

As I drove, I made a mental note to call Madison. I had replied to her email two weeks ago saying I would love to see her and that we would talk soon. I never saw my sister since she lived on the west coast and my job hardly afforded long vacation time. She was only 31, six years younger than me, and was a freelance journalist. Last time we talked, she had a fiancé that hadn't worked out. She hadn't cared. Madison was an optimistic person, she figured that if something didn't work out there was a reason. I missed her energetic, bubbly talking about everything and anything – the news, the weather, her latest article. She was always fun to be around, and the last time I saw her was six years ago when Arthur and I got married. Arthur. I missed him already, and I had just pulled into the Agency parking lot. I sighed and took the key out of the ignition.

I was walking down the hall to the DPD with my briefcase and tea when I saw Ken. He gave me a forced smile, and I gave him death glare in return. It wasn't exactly professional, but I was a hormonal pregnant woman who was severely pissed off at him, and he deserved it. I smiled at a few other people walking down the hall as I pulled open the glass door to the DPD. I saw Annie standing outside my office, holding a file. When I got to the door she smiled and said, "Good morning, Joan."

I unlocked the door and motioned for her to follow me.

"Hello, Annie. Is that the report from the nightclub smuggling case?"

"Yes," she said, handing it to me. I put my bag on the floor and my tea on my desk, then flipped it open and scanned it.

"How'd it go?," I asked, not looking at up from the folder.

"Good. I sat at the bar all night, watched the bartenders and a few employees. Thank you for trusting me to go back into the field."

"I had a feeling you were ready," I said, lifting my head and giving her a small smile. "I know it's not fun to be behind a desk all day."

"No, it's not," Annie agreed, and walked towards the door. "See you later, Joan."

"Bye," I said, sitting down at my desk and pulling my calendar out of my purse. I was curious as to how much longer I had to find a replacement. Dr. Rowan had been able to guess how far along I was when I first came to see her about my pregnancy. From what she said, I would be in my 4th month by the end of the week. Until my next appointment with Dr. Gabriel I wouldn't know my exact due date, but it was odd to think I was close to halfway through my pregnancy. I was officially showing now, but I wasn't too big. If I wore a flowy top, you might just think I was on the chubby side. I looked down at my shirt and smiled again. The idea of a little baby girl in 5 or so months always made me happy lately. Arthur had seemed happier too, until last night. I groaned thinking of that awful fight. I still didn't understand how Arthur could be around people like Ken. It made me sad.

I wondered what Arthur was doing right now. Was he pouring over a file, in a meeting, or reading all the CIA related articles to make sure someone hadn't pulled a Liza Hern? Liza's articles had stopped, but there was a rumor going around that she was just building suspense for an article that would be released later this month. I tried to put him in the back of my mind, but he kept bubbling up to the surface. To take my mind off Arthur, I took out my cell phone and called Madison.

"Hello?"

"Madison? It's Joan."

"Joan! How are you? I miss you so much, sis!"

I laughed. "I'm good and I miss you too. I actually was hoping you still wanted to come down and visit –"

"I would love to! How about next month? I have a set of articles to finish and then I'm free again," she said, I could hear her infectious smile through the phone.

"That sounds perfect. I can go online and look at some flights, or-"

"No, don't worry I'll do it," Madison said. "You rest. Watch _The Notebook_ and cry or nap or something. Whatever pregnant women do."

"Right now I'm actually working," I said, bracing myself.

"You're _what_? Working? Why? Shouldn't you be eating ice cream and reading a book on pregnancy?"

I laughed. "Being pregnant doesn't mean 9 months off of work, Madison. Plus, I love my job."

Madison snorted. "Of course, I forgot you're a total workaholic. I gotta go, but I'll look up flights and email you later this week. Hey, how far along are you?

"Four months," I said, putting a hand on my stomach. "I have to go too. I love you."

"Love you too, sis. Say hi to Arthur for me!"

"Ok," I mumbled, hanging up. I don't know why, but I didn't want to tell Madison we were fighting. I turned on my computer and got down to business, turning on the radio and attempting to keep Arthur out of my thoughts.

When the end of the day finally came, I eagerly packed up my things and headed out to my car. What Madison said earlier about eating ice cream sounded like a really good idea, and I knew we had some in the fridge. The whole "keep Arthur out of my mind" thing didn't really work. It had been going just fine until "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls came on the radio. Aside from being one of my favorite songs, it reminded me of eight years ago, when I met Arthur and fell in love with him, even though I knew he was married. Before we started seeing each other secretly.  
_  
And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now _

_I just want you to know who I am_

When I pulled into the driveway I was humming it softly. I pulled my bag out of the car and observed that Arthur's car was nowhere to be seen. I went inside and put my bag on the kitchen counter. Still humming, I walked to the bedroom and stripped my clothes off, jumping into a hot shower. When I got out, I brushed my hair and put on sweats. My craving for ice cream returned, driving me into the kitchen. To my delight, we had mint chip ice cream. It was only half full, so I just grabbed a spoon and started to eat straight out of the carton. I sat on the counter and took out my laptop, putting "Iris" on in my iTunes, then opened my email to find a few emails from family members replying to my pregnancy announcement. I had only told my parents and my sister because I didn't want people to visit, it had been very convenient that my job caused me to live states away from them. I loved my family, but my job was one that didn't give a lot of free time and certainly had to kept a secret. I knew my parents would tell the rest of my small family anyway. There was an email from my dad's sister, wishing me luck and a few others that I saved to read later. I was just finishing my ice cream when I heard Arthur come through the door connected to the garage.

"Joan? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I frowned. This put me in a hard place. Should I ignore him until I heard the words "I'm sorry"? Or should I give him a chance to admit he was wrong last night?

"Sure," I said wearily, sliding off the barstool I had been sitting on and walking towards the couch, where he had sat down. Unexpectedly, he pulled me into his lap and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry. The things Ken said were sexist, and I gave him a formal warning today about proper behavior in the workplace. I should have stood up for you, and I am truly sorry."

I let that information sink in. I could see the hopeful look on his face, and he knew I loved it when he admitted I was right, but I felt like making him wait a bit longer. Unfortunately, my hormones were taking the lead over my willpower lately.

"Thank you," I said, kissing him on the cheek. " That apology means a lot me."

He leaned in to kiss me back, but paused and said," What song is that?"

"Oh, um… Iris," I blushed, jumping up. "I'll turn it off-"

"No," Arthur said, reaching for my wrist. He stood up and held out his hand. "Dance with me?"

I blushed again and smiled shyly, then took his hand as he pulled me into his arms. We rocked back and forth for a while before I tilted my head up and kissed him lovingly. The final chorus played and he pulled me into an embrace. I buried my head in his chest and sighed happily. Nothing in the world but him could make me feel this way.

_I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_


	9. Chapter 9

**Joan's POV**

The next morning Arthur and I were driving to work when I remembered my conversation with Madison the day before. I turned to him and said," I talked to my sister yesterday."

"And how is she?"

"Good. She wants to visit in a few weeks. I figured I could take a week off work and we could drive to D.C. and go to museums or something during the day. I just hate the idea of taking a _whole week_ off work," I pouted, staring out the window and watching rain pour from the dark sky.

Arthur laughed. "It will be good practice for when the baby gets here," he said, turning into Langley. He flashed his ID badge and the barrier was lowered for us to drive in. He parked and got out of the car with an umbrella, then came around to my side. I inhaled the sweet, wet smell of rain as I emerged from the car. I smiled at Arthur and took his hand was we walked towards the CIA doors. When we got inside Arthur gave me a affectionate kiss on the lips before we parted ways. After we broke away I bit my lip and watched him walk the opposite direction as I was going. Heels clacking, I headed off to the DPD. With my hormones starting to go crazy, I missed him all the time. At least I hadn't started crying at random things yet. I pulled open the glass door the DPD just as Annie was running through it, almost colliding with me.

"Joan! I'm sorry!"

"It's ok, Annie. What's the rush?"

Nothing," she said hastily. I turned and watched as she walked down the hallway at a surprisingly fast rate. While I wondered what Annie was up to, I was surprised by a green light shining on my face.

"Good morning, Auggie," I said, making my way towards my office. He moved and blocked my path.

"Umm, hey, Joan," he said nervously. I frowned and walked around him. He followed after me quickly.

"What's up, Auggie?"

"Nothing. Just….. maybe stay out of your office for a few hours. Here, let me show you the translations Annie just finished on my computer."

"Auggie?," I questioned, stopping in my tracks. "What's going on?"

Auggie said nothing but I heard Annie race up behind us.

"Has she seen…." she stopped abruptly. My frustration increased. I hated being out of the loop.

"What's going on, you two?"

Annie stared at my office. I followed her gaze to see a partially bald man in my office. My heart stared to race faster, but not in the same way as it did when I saw Arthur. No, this was a nervous, anxious way. Henry Wilcox was in my office.

"Crap," I muttered, lifting a hand to my belly. Annie looked at my stomach and then offered." I could tell him you're in a meeting and you could make a break for Arthur's office."

I tried to laugh, but I couldn't. "Thanks, but I have to face him at some point. What you can do is figure out who told him," I said firmly, as if I wasn't worried.

Annie nodded and took Auggie's arm, leading him down the steps to the cluster of desks. I opened my office door and faked a smile as Henry turned around.

"Henry! I didn't know you were here," I lied, attempting to hold my bag in a way that covered my stomach. Maybe he didn't know yet. He gave me a wicked smile and I knew this wasn't possible. Hanging my bag and coat up in the closet I asked, "What brings you here today?"

"Well," he said, walking towards me. "I heard the Campbell family is getting a new member."

I turned to face him and he looked at my stomach, then made direct eye contact. "Congratulations."

I could tell he didn't mean it. "Thank you," I replied coolly. "Did you really come all the way down here just for that?"

"You know me all too well, Joan," Henry chuckled. "Who will be replacing you?"

"Oh, I'll be coming back, Henry. My temporary substitute hasn't be chosen yet, but I can assure you they will do just fine."

My mind raced as I tried to piece it all together. Henry gave me another one of those wicked smiles, but I didn't break. I walked behind my desk and sat down, clasping my hands together to keep them from shaking.

"Thank you for coming by, but unfortunately I don't have more time to chat. Lots of work to do, you know."

"Of course, Joan," Henry said, obviously disappointed that the conversation wasn't going further. I waited for him to show himself out before putting my head down on my desk. Of course. He was hoping Arthur would take over for me for 2 months, and Henry could slip in as the DCS, permanently. Pushing me out of the CIA would not only give Henry his job back, but it would weaken Arthur. My temples throbbed and I reached for my lessening supply of Ibuprofen. I was fumbling around in my bag for my water bottle when Arthur burst into my office.

"Joan! Annie told me, I ran down here as fast as I could. Are you okay? What did he want?"

I looked up at him and said softly," I'm fine. He….. he wanted to know who was replacing me."

Sighing with relief, Arthur walked up to my desk and reached over to take my hand. For a few seconds, his gaze lingered on the bottle Ibuprofen on the desk before snapping back up to my face.

"So he thought he could just slip back in as DCS, didn't he?"

I nodded. "He wants us out. Pushing you down to head of DPD and getting me out altogether would definitely increase his odds."

"Well he won't get that."

"No," I shook my head. I let go of Arthur's hand for a moment to take the 2 ibuprofen and gulp down some water. I took his hand again and smiled, massaging his fingers gently.

"But don't worry, I'll take care of it. I'm sure you're very busy as DCS."

"Honey...," Arthur paused and looked around the room, then looked back at me. "I'd rather you not. I feel like you've been overworking yourself lately. You've been under a lot of stress…"

He trailed off and I followed his gaze to the bottle of Ibuprofen that was considerably less full than when I bought it a few weeks ago.

".. .and it could be bad for the baby," he finished firmly.

On one hand, I was angry and defensive. I worked very hard at my job, but so did everyone else. I'd been at it long enough that stress wasn't stress, it was normality. I loved it here! The only things I loved more than my job was Arthur and my baby girl. They were the only reason I would be taking a 2 months off after she was born. On the other hand, I agreed. We didn't want a repeat of my fainting episode. I know the doctors hadn't wanted to worry Arthur, but I'm sure stress was a big factor. I knew it was, and I loved this baby too much to put myself first. I stood up and walked around the desk to Arthur, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed him gently and said," You're right."

Arthur seemed surprised that I gave in that quickly but gave me another kiss, which slowly melted into an embrace. I sighed, titled my head slightly to the side and listening to Arthur's steady heartbeat. I could be this way forever.

"I love you," Arthur murmured into my ear, kissing my earlobe. We broke apart slowly, both knowing we had work to do. The second Arthur closed my office door I wanted to run after him and wrap my arms around him, pulling him back into our own little world of bliss. My hormones attempted to take over my body, but I pushed them back, which was no easy task. I sat at my desk in silence for a while, Arthur's kisses still lingering on my ear and lips.

My phone broke the illusion with a loud ring. It startled me, and I fumbled around in my bag for it before realizing it was sitting on the corner of my desk. By the time I got it, the screen read: _One missed call, Madison. _ I hit redial and broke into a grin the second I hard Madison's answer. "Sorry if I interrupted a makeout session."

"A what? Um, no, I just couldn't find my phone."

"Uh huh," Madison said knowingly. "So I got a flight, it's next Friday."

"Really? that's only a little over a week from now."

"I know! I can't wait to see you!"

"Me neither," I said truthfully, looking wistfully at my bag. I wished I could just go home now.

"Don't sound too excited," Madison laughed.

"Sorry, I am. It's just… I don't know. I'm tired. I can't wait to take a week off work when you get here." The words out of my mouth surprised me. _Since when?_

"You? Ready for time off?"

"I know, I even surprised myself. I have to go, but I'll see you soon."

"Ok, love you sis!"

"Love you too," I smiled, hanging up. I barricaded myself in my office for the next 3 hours, working like crazy and trying to break my coffee every hour habit. Around noon I started to feel insanely nauseous, and spent the next half hour drinking water and moaning, sitting on the floor with my back up against my desk. There was a knock at the door, and I said," Come in." I sounded weak and hoarse. And I felt crappier than I had an hour ago. Annie walked in cautiously.

"Joan? Are you okay?"

I groaned and tried to get up, but was hit by a heavy wave of nausea. Annie put the folder on my desk and held out her hand to help me up. I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them, hoping to see mine and Arthur's bedroom walls and our bed. That's how sick I was. I wanted to be home, in bed, in the middle of the workday.

"No, thanks, I think it's just safer to stay down here."

Annie nodded and picked the folder back up. "So I filled out all the forms and got a recommendation from a few people at The Farm who I know well and trust. I know I'm not completely qualified, but I really hope you will consider me."

"Annie, you've done fantastically in your first year here. Unfortunately, Arthur and I aren't the only ones making the decisions."

Annie was talking about the application most of the DPD and other parts of Clandestine services were eager to fill out. The application for my replacement in five months. They had a long list of qualifications to fill, and I knew Annie only had about half of those. Running the DPD for just three months would be no small feat. A small headache came, and I rubbed my temples, attempting to push the pain to the back of my brain, but it persisted.

"Joan? Are you sure you don't need anything?," Annie asked worriedly. I could see genuine concern in her eyes. More nausea came.

"Ummm, do you think you hand me my phone?"

"To call Arthur? Do you mind if I just call him and have him come down here?," Annie asked, reaching for my desk phone. I smiled and leaned my head back.

"Thanks, Annie. That would be great."

6 minutes later, Arthur walked through my office door to see Annie kneeling on the ground next to me, squeezing my hand and making random conversation.

"Annie! What's wrong?," Arthur asked, rushing over to where we sat on the floor.

"When I came in to give her my replacement application, she was sitting up against the desk and moaning. She looks more in pain than she did half an hour ago."

Arthur kissed me on the forehead and tried to help me up, but I shook my head.

"No."

Arthur looked to Annie questioningly.

"She wouldn't let me help her up either. I think she's too nauseous."

"Joan, honey, we gotta get you up. I'll take you home and you can rest."

I continued to shake my head and gave another small moan.

"If I get up, I will hurl all over you two."

Arthur and Annie looked at each other.

"It's worth a shot," Arthur said. Annie nodded. "Annie, will you please pack up Joan's things and get her coat? I'm going to try and get her out to our car."

"Ok," Annie said, squeezing my hand one more time before rising. She took my phone and a few folders off my desk and put them in my bag, along with my water bottle. Then she took my black trench coat off the hook in my closet and held it out so I could slip into it. Arthur carefully and slowly pulled me to standing position. I slipped my arms into the coat and leaned on Arthur, letting him guide me out of my office with Annie behind us. I heard whispering, but I ignored it and held onto Arthur as we walked out the DPD door and towards the main entrance. Once we were at the front doors, Arthur took my bag from Annie and said, "Thank you, Annie."

Annie smiled. "My pleasure. Feel better, Joan."

I nodded in thanks and Arthur and I made our way to the car. It smelled nice outside, like rain. When I told Arthur this, he grinned.

"I remember the first time you said that to me," he said, helping me into the car and then getting in himself.

"When?," I asked drowsily. I was trying not to fall asleep before we got home. He started to drive.

"Our second date. I was still married, so we went to a restaurant a hour or so from here. It started raining during dinner, and after dinner we took a short walk. You insisted on walking without an umbrella because it was only drizzling by then, and you told me you loved the smell of rain. I told you I did too, and you gave me that secretive smile of yours, and I leaned right over and kissed you. I think it was the first time we kissed."

I smiled, amazed that he remembered all that. "Honey, I can't believe you remembered that. "

He looked at me. "I really loved you, even that early on. I still do. I hung on every word you said, every sexy dress you wore to work."

I blushed. "I think I was wearing pantsuits back then."

"Well, then I still take note of every sexy dress you wear to work."

I laughed. "I love you."

Arthur pulled into the driveway and turned to me, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. I smiled, but my nausea snuck up on me. I had been so preoccupied with Arthur's romantic story that I hadn't noticed how sick the car ride made me. Arthur felt me tense up and took the key out of the ignition. He got out of the car and came around to help me out. I picked up my bag and stepped out of the car. The nausea multiplied by ten as I stood up. Arthur saw the look on my face and swung me up into his arms, bridal-style. He took me inside and set me down on our bed, putting my bag on the couch. He sat down next to me and pulled my heels off, massaging my feet a little. I frowned.

"I wish you didn't have to go back to work."

"Me too, honey. But I have two meeting this afternoon that I can't reschedule. I'll be home as soon as I can." He kissed my forehead.

"Do you want me to help you change first?"

"Yes please," I said, rubbing my head. "Can you grab the black yoga pants in the third drawer and just.. any t-shirt?"

Arthur pulled out the pants and went into one of his drawers and pulled out an old undershirt of his. I slipped my dress off and he helped me put on my sweats. I smiled gratefully.

"Thanks honey."

Arthur kissed me again, lovingly. I kissed him back.

"I'll miss you."

"Me too," Arthur said, taking my water bottle out of my bag and putting it on my bedside table. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and blew him another kiss as he walked out of the room. When I heard the car pull out of the driveway, I cried a little bit. Arthur was completely different man than he had been a few months ago, and I found myself missing him all the time. He was sweet, caring, and kind. A year ago, as much as he loved me, he would never had taken 30 minutes out of work to drive me home. Neither would I for him. We were both so obsessed with our work that we brushed off sickness and stayed at The Agency from 8 o'clock to 9 or sometimes even 10 o'clock every day. I was glad we were having this baby. It was a good way to show us what our priorities should be. Family and each other first, work second. I leaned back against the pillows and tried to sleep. I needed rest, badly.

* * *

Feedback please! I am currently trying to decide how many chapter I want this story to have, and I would love opinions! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Joan's POV**

The next Friday morning I sat on the edge of our bed as Arthur dressed for work. It was probably the first day since we'd been married that we weren't getting ready for work together in the morning, going to the same place, and it felt strange. I was going to stay home until noon, and then I was going to the airport to get my sister. I knew there were a lot of these days ahead, once the baby was born. I put my hands on my stomach and sighed.

"Arthur?"

He turned around. "Yes?"

"I'll miss you today."

He walked over to the bed and kissed me. "I'll miss you too. But you'll be having so much fun, think of all the meetings and debriefings you don't have to go to."

I smiled, getting up and hugging him. He held me close and everything washed away. Just the slightest touch from Arthur made me feel amazing. Even just a simple hug or when he squeezed my hand. Honestly, I don't remember what I thought love was before I met him.

"What's on your mind?," Arthur asked, his eyes playful.

"Nothing," I blushed. He slid his arms down to the small of my back and kissed my hair, then continued to work his way down, kissing my neck and sucking on my earlobe. I gave a small moan of pleasure and tangled my fingers in his hair.

"Nothing?," he asked mischievously, grinning. He kissed me passionately on the lips, and I kissed back feverishly. My pregnancy hormones went crazy as we kissed desperately, as if we were about to be separated for 20 years. He brought his hands up to my face as I pulled off his jacket, neither one of us breaking the kiss. He hadn't put his tie on yet, so I tried to unbutton his shirt, but his kisses distracted me. Arthur pulled me up to straddle him and we kissed with more intensity and heat. The t-shirt I had worn to bed had gotten pushed up over my bump, and Arthur laid me on the bed and kissed it gently. I pulled him down next to me and started to unbutton his shirt fiercely. For the first time in the last 4 months, I wanted rough, heated passion. He laughed.

"Calm down, honey. Just take it slow."

"What if I don't want to?," I asked, my voice low and sexy. I got to the final button and slipped off his shirt, leaving him with just his undershirt. I pulled off my own t-shirt and kissed him again, lightly massaging the back of his neck. Now it was his turn to moan with pleasure. He pulled his undershirt off and kissed my neck, burying his face in my collarbone, then kissed his way down my bare chest and pulled me close to him. After we broke apart, I slipped off my sweat pants and smiled coyly at him, daring him to say no. I watched his face carefully. I could see he was trying to be responsible, but the sight of his pregnant wife in only a pair of black lacy panties was slowly edging past getting to work on time on his list of priorities. I laughed, and Arthur undid his belt.

"You know how sexy I find that laugh."

I giggled and smiled. "I had no idea."

**Arthur's POV**

Joan lay in my arms, her breathing quiet and even. The clock read almost 10:30 am, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed, re-dress, and go to work. I was always one for being on time and responsible, but one look from Joan and I was under her power. She had an effect on me that I couldn't describe. I looked down at her face, her beautiful blonde hair tangled and messy, her eyelashes slightly fluttering as she slept. It was so unlike Joan to fall asleep at 10 am after a little bit of intimate time in bed, but I guess that's what pregnancy can do to you. I reached for my Blackberry and saw that I had 6 missed calls. Shit. Back to reality. I gently moved Joan off of me so I could get up, then walked to the bathroom for a quick shower. Boy, was I going to be given hell when I finally got to the Agency. I glanced back at my gorgeous wife, covered in a sheet and sleeping soundly. She was worth it.

When I got out of the shower and went back into the bedroom to get dressed I saw Joan sitting up in bed against the pillows, still wrapped in the sheet. She was reading a book on "what to expect when you're expecting" and smiling to herself. I quietly watched her for a few seconds as she put her hand to her stomach and whispered," I love you, baby girl. And your daddy loves you too. And you're gonna be the most loved baby in the whole wide world."

She looked up and saw me watching her with a serene smile on my face. She blushed and smiled. God, she was even sexy when she was embarrassed.

"Hey," I said, walking to the dresser and pulling out a pair of boxers. I pulled them on and then went to the foot of the bed, where my clothes from earlier lay, slightly crumpled. I put my pants on and belted them, then pulled on my white shirt and buttoned it up. Joan watched with a smile on her face, her eyes dancing with a sense of playfulness. I walked back to the dresser and got out a tie. As I tied it, Joan said,"Arthur, what do you think about the name Elise? Or Katherine?"

I sat on the foot of the bed and put my shoes on. "I like Elise better than Katherine. Maybe we should continue the name discussion later though."

I retrieved my Blackberry from the nightstand, giving Joan a kiss in the cheek as I bent down to pick it up. She kissed me on the lips softly, then glanced at the clock and said," Arthur Campbell, late for work? I don't think I've ever seen that before."

I grinned. "Unfortunately, there's this goddess of a woman who can persuade me like no other. She has absolute control over me."

Joan raised her eyebrows and kissed me again. "Oh yeah? And who might this be?"

"Her name is Joan Elizabeth Campbell, and she is stunning. A real hottie," I smiled, laughing as I stood up and picked up my briefcase from the floor next to the bedroom door. "She has the sexiest laugh, and her body is really something else."

"Arthur!," Joan laughed. She got up, keeping the sheet wrapped around her. She walked over to me and put one hand on the side of my face, the other holding the sheet in place.

"I'm really going to miss you today."

"I know, sweetheart. I'll miss you too."

I looked at the clock sadly. 11 am. "But I have to go. The DCS is a very busy man, you know."

Joan sighed. "I know."

I kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. Her tone changed from wistful to playful. "I think this morning was enough to last us for the next few days while Madison is here."

I laughed and stroked her hair. "Oh baby, I constantly need more of you. I'll never get enough."

She laughed, then lightly pushed me towards to door. "I hate to say it, but you have to leave. I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Too late," I smiled, walking out the front door. "Goodbye, honey. See you and Madison tonight."

"Bye."

**Joan's POV**

I showered shortly after Arthur left. I had to leave at noon to go pick up Madison, and then we were going out to lunch and maternity shopping. I longed for the Arthur wrapped around me, glancing at the messy bed where we had been less than an hour ago. I pulled a black v-neck dress with long sleeves out of the closet. It was comfortable and not too tight, although it was flowy either. I remembered wearing this dress the first time I met Annie. It was her first day in the DPD, and when the day ended I changed into a shorter black dress and went over a restaurant in Georgetown to accuse Arthur of having an affair. I was so relived that I had been wrong, but it had been very embarrassing. Between that and our constant fighting over using Annie as bait for Ben Mercer, I thought Arthur and I were breaking apart. It was a fear I that crept into my head every night. We had a few good weeks, but eventually we moved back apart, and the fighting got worse. Arthur started sleeping on the couch, and I spent my nights wide awake, wondering if it was my fault. When we got the news of Ben's death, Arthur and I had been enjoying some, um, quality time after months of tension. I recalled rushing to the DPD in jeans and a sweater (the first things I grabbed from the closet) and sitting with Arthur, Auggie, and Jai as we watched Annie grieve as silently as she could. I knew she was trying not to cry in front of us, but I'm fairly certain what set her off was seeing Arthur slip his hand into mine. Her tears fell, and I pulled her into my office, letting her sit on my couch with my arm around her shoulder. I usually steered clear of physical interactions with my operatives, but I knew Annie's pain. The separation Arthur and I endured had driven me to slight depression at first. No one could see it, but inside I was sobbing hysterically, wondering what had happened to us. At least Arthur was still alive. I let Annie cry on me for quite a while, and I made sure Arthur and I drove her home. I told her she could take some time off to grieve, she nodded as if she would consider it, but she showed up at work the next day.

I slipped into a pair of smaller heels than usual and went into the bathroom to put on makeup and do my hair. As I pulled a brush through my blonde waves, I couldn't help but think of my replacement. I knew this week was supposed to be about work but it would give me some peace of mind if we narrowed it down a bit. I brushed my teeth and put on some pink lipgloss. I didn't wear very dramatic makeup, preferring the more natural look. I brushed neutral shadow over my eyelids and applied concealer to a small bump near my nose. I grabbed my rarely used black purse from my closet, made sure I had my phone and keys in my purse, and left the room. Walking past the kitchen on my way out I grabbed an apple, remembering my fainting episode a few months ago. I got in the car and started to drive, putting my Bluetooth so I could call Arthur.

"Joan?"

"Hi, honey. I'm driving to the airport but I was wondering if you could read a few of those applications for my replacement, start ruling people out. It would give me some peace of mind."

"Ok, I will. But you know what would give me some peace of mind? Knowing that you're not driving and talking on the phone while pregnant. Or even when you're not pregnant."

"Arthur, I have a Bluetooth. I'm fine." I loved how protective Arthur could be some times.

"I know, but all the same. I don't want anything to happen to you, or our little girl. I love you both too much."

"Ok, you win," I sighed. "I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too."

When I arrived at the airport I texted Madison and drove to baggage claim. With all the security nowadays I couldn't park the car and go inside, so I drove around until I got a text saying she was ready. I parked and got out of the car so I could help her with her bags when she came outside. My phone buzzed with new text: _meetings with all the dpts. of clandestine services aren't as fun when i don't have a sexy blonde to stare at._ I laughed and typed back:_ what about thomas? his remaining hairs are sort of dirty blonde... :) _

"Joan?"

I turned around and saw Madison walking towards me. Her wavy hair, the same color as mine, was in a ponytail and she wore a purple sweater, jeans, and black boots. Her smile was a mile wide and I had already caught her contagious happiness.

"Maddy!" I threw my arms around her in a big hug. She squeezed back, then took a step back and grinned.

"You haven't called me Maddy since we were kids."

"I guess I'm feeling a little more youthful," I laughed, taking her suitcase. She shook her head and took it from me, loading it into the trunk.

"No physical labor for you, sis. Pregnant women have to take it easy." She marveled at my stomach. "Who would have thought you would have kids?"

I laughed. "Madison!"

She smiled and we got in the car, driving back towards D.C.

"So how have you been?," I asked.

"Good. I've been working freelance, but I think I might be settling down soon."

"Oh really?," I raised my eyebrows. "New guy?"

"No, new job. A friend of a friend is starting a travel magazine, and he asked me to consider working for him."

"That sounds great!"

She smiled and stared out the window. "Yeah."

I stared at her and pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center I had found that had a couple maternity stores. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I just... I would love to travel, but at the same time I like the freedom freelance writing gives me. How did you decide you wanted to commit to full-time job?"

I thought for a few seconds. My cover was that I was a public defender, so that the long hours and busy schedule would make sense. "Truthfully, I felt like I needed something to do, I wanted to develop a passion. I guess that passion was helping others. You already know you love writing, so it's really up to you to decide where you want to go from there."

She smiled and hugged me. "Thanks sis."

When Arthur got home we had already been back for a few hours. We were sitting on the couch, watching Entertainment Tonight, and I was drinking water while Madison had a glass of white wine. It was nice comic relief after watching CNN constantly, and Maddy had picked it. When I heard the front door open, my insides got warm. It had only been eight hours since I last saw Arthur, but it felt like eight days. I jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, throwing myself on him. He kissed me and laughed. "Hello there, sweetheart."

Madison got up from the couch and walked over to Arthur. I let go of him long enough for them to hug. "Arthur, how are you?"

"I'm good, Madison. And you? Having fun?"

"Oh yeah, maternity stores are a blast. Did you know Joan naps now? We got home around 4 and she was out for an hour at least." She took another sip of wine and grinned.

I blushed. "But then I woke up and we made pasta." I walked into the kitchen. "You hungry?"

"Starving," Arthur said, putting down his briefcase.

Around 10 o'clock, Madison got in bed. I gave her a kiss goodnight and we decided that in the morning we would go into the museum district, maybe go to a few of the Smithsonians. After we said goodnight, I went into mine and Arthur's bedroom and put on my nightgown. Arthur was on the phone in the garage, he didn't want to risk Madison hearing his conversation. I picked up my laptop and went to a few pregnancy websites. Arthur came in fifteen minutes later and handed few a folder.

"What's this?"

"I narrowed down our options. There are twenty-five applications in this folder, and we have another month to choose one."

I was impressed. "Thank you. As hard as it is to accept it, I am going to be replaced."

"Temporarily," Arthur said, getting undressed and putting on his pajamas. "Buy anything exciting today?"

"Just a few dresses and tops. Hopefully I can wear them for 2 or 3 months before I get huge."

Arthur laughed and sat next to me on the bed. "You'll always be that hot, skinny blonde to me."

I smiled and kissed him softly on the lips. "Thanks honey."

He kissed back and then made himself comfortable in bed next to me. "What are you reading?"

"Pregnancy websites," I said wearily, closing my laptop.

"Something wrong?," Arthur asked. He looked concerned.

"No, I'm just tired. I missed my husband today," I said, snuggling up to him. He kissed the tip of my nose, and I giggled.

"I missed you too."


	11. Chapter 11

Helloo! So here is Chp. 11, sorry it took a few more days than usual but I am having some computer issues right now. I'm hoping Chp. 12 can be up within the next week, but until then I would love to know if you guys want to see Arthur and Joan celebrating the holidays! This chapter contains some medical stuff which i did research online, but if you notice any glaring errors please let me know. Enjoy!

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**Joan's POV**

It was Madison's last night with us, and we had decided to have a movie night. Maddy made popcorn, I pulled out all of our dvds (mostly consisting of James Bond movies), and Arthur promised to be home by 7. We had spent all day doing stuff we used to do when I still lived at home, like paint our nails and play boardgames. It was all bitttersweet because I was really going to miss her, but the option of being around family more was not currently available to us. There were a few times this week were we had been talking about how much we missed each other and how we never saw each other when I felt her waiting for me to say something about her visiting more often, but I couldn't do it.

"Joan, why do you have mostly spy movies?"

"Um, Arthur likes the sense of danger. He's a huge James Bond fan." I laughed to myself. It was a lame excuse, but it seemed to go over with Maddy, who smirked and continued flipping through the dvds.

"Ooh, Two Weeks Notice! I love this movie!"

"Arthur and I do too. It's actually one of his favorites."

"Why, because he thinks Sandra Bullock is hot?"

"Yeah," I laughed. I knew that wasn't the real reason. Although he never admitted it, I knew he liked it because of the story. A woman falls in love with her divorced boss. Technically, Arthur hadn't been divorced when we first starting dating, but it was close. I thought it was sweet how much he loved the movie. It was one of the reasons I loved him.

The front door opened and a gust of cold rushed in, pulling me out of my thoughts. I got up from the couch eagerly.

"I'm home, ladies," Arthur called, setting down his briefcase. He walked over to me and kissed me on the lips, and I kissed back, bringing my hands to his face. Maddy coughed and we broke apart, Arthur grinning and me blushing. I sat back down on the couch and put my hand on my stomach.

"I'll go change into something more comfortable and then we can start," Arthur said, heading into the bedroom. "I got Chinese food on the way home. Hey, what movie did you choose?"

"Two Weeks Notice," Madison said, putting the dvd in our dvd player. Arthur came back in the room in jeans and a gray t-shirt. He smiled.

"Oh really? I love that one."

He sat next to me on the couch and pulled me close to him, letting me bury my head in his chest. He kissed my hair and made small talk with Madison about her plans for when she returned home as she skipped through the commercials. As Sandra Bullock's character spent her last two weeks with her boss, Hugh Grant, I could feel Arthur smiling. I slipped into his lap about halfway through the movie and he kissed me neck, sending shivers down my spine. Madison was enjoying the movie, and every once and a while she would say things like, "What about Lucy? You could name your daughter Lucy!" or "That is so sweet! He obviously loves her. How amazing would that be, Joan? Your boss realizes he can't live without you?"

The irony was insane, but she didn't know that, so I laughed and said," I have a pretty great guy already, Maddy." Arthur found that hilarious and buried his face in my hair to muffle his laughter. After the movie ended, Arthur and I went to bed and Maddy went to the guest room. It was almost 10 PM, but I didn't feel like sleeping, so I took a hot bath while Arthur sat on the edge of the tub and went over replacement applications with me. By the time we got in bed, I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly.

The next morning, I woke up with Arthur snuggled up next to me, against my back. I smiled and turned around so when he woke up he would see my face. He woke up shortly after I did, giving me a soft kiss. I kissed back passionately but gently, pressing my body against his. We snuggled for a few more minutes until he had to get ready for work. He planned to work a half-day and come home shortly after I took Madison to the airport. I watched him put on his suit with a sense of pride, and gave him another passionate kiss when he left.

"I love you, sweetheart."

3 hours later Madison and I stood next to my car outside the airport. She looked at my stomach for a while, then wrapped me up in a huge hug.

"I'll miss you so much!"

I hugged her back, choking on a few tears. "I'll miss you too."

We broke apart and she squeezed my hand. "Maybe I can visit when you have the baby, help out for a few weeks?"

She seemed so hopeful but I didn't know what to say, so I smiled and laughed. "God, that seems so far away."

She checked her watch. "I have to go." We hugged one more time and then she grabbed the handle of her suitcase and walked into the airport. I got in the car and texted Arthur to tell him I was on my way home, when started to drive. I had gotten so used to Maddy, it felt lonely in the car without her. When I got home I changed out of my jeans and flowy t-shirt and into yoga pants and a purple tank top. I had started changing out of my clothes and into sweats the second I got home, for some reason I was always extremely uncomfortable in street clothes, my bra and jeans especially. I got a text from Arthur saying her would be home in an hour, and the clock said it was 1:30 pm, so I laid down on the bed and took a nap.

I was woken up around 2:15 with a pain around my bladder. I got up to go to the bathroom, but the second I sat up in bed the pain multiplied. I gasped in pain and stretched my arm to the bedside table to reach my phone, which only made it worse. I took deep breaths and tried again to reach my phone, this time succeeding. I hit 3, my speed dial for Arthur, and put it on speakerphone.

"Joan?"

"Arthur," I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut. "Something….. something's wrong."

"What do you mean?," Arthur asked sharply. I could hear him standing up and pushing back a chair very faintly in the background.

I took another long, deep breath. "I was taking a nap, and I woke up because I really had to use the bathroom, and when I sat up in bed I, I feel felt this huge stab of- " Another cramp came, and I fell backwards onto the pillows.

"Joan? Joan, what happened? Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here," I said, reaching for my cell phone and wincing. "But I'm scared, and I'm in a lot of pain." the worst wave of pain rolled throughout my body, and I gave a short scream of discomfort.

"Joan?" Arthur sounded frantic. "I'm getting in the car right now. Do not move, do you understand?"

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me. "Yes."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hung up and put my hands on my stomach, rubbing it gently. The cramps were still coming, but they were getting slower and less painful. I could feel the weight of the baby on bladder, but I did not move. Suddenly, I felt what I assumed was a contraction underneath my bladder. I moaned and sat up. Bad move. Another wave of pain washed over me, caused me to scream harder than I did before. I tried to take deep breaths, but they quickly became short pants. I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, then tried talking to the baby.

"Calm down, honey. It's gonna be okay. You don't have to leave for another 5 or months. It's okay. No need to panic."

My daughter clearly took after her parents in having a mind of her own, because the cramps and stabs of pain kept coming. After 10 minutes they seemed to be slowing down again, getting less painful. I almost had to laugh. I thought I'd escaped cramps for nine months. The weird thing was that I hadn't had really awful menstrual cramps for the last few months before I found out I was pregnant. I heard a car outside and prayed it was Arthur's, not a neighbor's. All of the sudden, the worst pain I had ever imagined came over me, and my eyes teared up. I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to breathe evenly. I heard the front door open and I gave a sigh of relief.

"Joan?," Arthur yelled, sounding more scared than I had ever heard him. He rushed into our bedroom and saw me lying on our bed propped up on my elbows, panting and sweaty. "Oh my god."

"Arthur," I gasped. He ran to the bed and took my hand. I felt weak and pathetic, and I was scared. What was happening to me?

"Squeeze as hard as it hurts."

I squeezed as hard as I could, but I felt weaker than ever before. I started sobbing. Arthur came around to the other side of the bed and sat next to me for the next 5 minutes as the pain continued. Finally, it stopped and I collapsed back onto the pillows again. Arthur looked at me concernedly and pulled out his cell phone, dialing 's office. I got up to go the bathroom, walking slowly and cautiously.

"I came home and she was lying on our bed in so much pain – I've never seen her like this….. uh-huh…. yes… one second…"

"Joan?," he called. " wants to talk to you."

I washed my hands and slowly walked back into our bedroom, taking the phone from Arthur.

"Joan?"

"Yes, hi."

"Can you please describe what happened?"

"I was woken up by a full bladder, and when I sat up in bed I started getting these awful stabs of pain. Sort of like cramps. It started to get worse, so I called Arthur. He told me he was coming home to stay where I was, and I fell back onto the pillows. The baby was putting a lot of pressure on my bladder, so I sat up, which increased the pain. It just kept getting worse, and I tried taking deep breaths and even talking to the baby, trying to get her to calm down. When Arthur got home, it was still happening, but it started to slow down after about…. 30 minutes after it started, I guess." I tried to stay calm, but inside I was reeling.

"Hm… well it seems like you experienced some Braxton-Hicks contractions. They usually don't occur until the second trimester… how far along are you?"

"17 weeks, I think."

"Ok, that explains it. You're about 4 weeks into the second trimester, and this was probably caused by dehydration or a full bladder. Braxton-Hicks are usually infrequent and aren't supposed to hurt that badly, but they can sometimes. We'll have to test you next time you come in to make sure everything is ok. Has the baby kicked yet?"

"No, not hard enough to feel," I said nervously. "Is that bad?"

"No, but it should happen soon. As for the Braxton-Hicks contractions, you probably won't get those again until you're much closer to the birth. Breathing was good, but also try to lie down on your side if it happens again. It looks like you have an appointment next week, so we'll talk more then."

"Thank you," I said gratefully. "Take care."

"You too, Joan."

"What did she say?," Arthur asked anxiously. He looked very worried.

"They were Braxton-Hicks contractions. Aside from the extreme pain, they're totally normal. She said there's a pretty good chance I won't have them again until closer to the end of my pregnancy, if at all."

Arthur facial expression relaxed. His face broke out into a small smile and he leaned forward and kissed me gently. "Good. When I came in and saw you on the bed…. it scared the crap out of me. If anything had happened to you, I don't know what I would do."

I smiled and kissed him on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," Arthur laughed, pulling me into his arms. He put his hand on my stomach. "You have stop causing us so much trouble, baby girl!"

I laughed. This baby was really doing magical things for our marriage. Wait, scratch that. This baby was doing magical things for our _family_.


	12. Chapter 12

**Joan's POV**

It had been 3 weeks since Madison left. Arthur and I had returned back to reality, working hard and trying to shorten our hours, even with the added task of screening applicants. We had until we got back from the holidays to decide, but that day was fast approaching. Thanksgiving had been last week, and our scheduling at the CIA was different than most jobs. Since Arthur and I celebrated Christmas and I was pregnant, we were taking off the week surrounding Christmas and New Year's. We would come back early January, and that's when the decision had to be made. It was scary to think that by then I would only have 3 months left before the baby was born. At our doctor's appointment 2 weeks ago, told us our "happy, healthy baby girl" was due April 13. It was exciting and scary all at once.

The one thing Arthur and I didn't have together yet was name. I laughed to myself thinking of Thanksgiving, which ended up being the strangest holiday I had ever experienced. Auggie had invited us to his place for a low-key, takeout dinner. Auggie and I had become very close friends in the last few months, and the idea of spending time with him and Arthur on Thanksgiving, just relaxing, was perfect. The night had ended up being us plus Annie, whose sister, nieces, and brother-in-law had gone out of state to visit the brother-in-law's family. We found ourselves eating Chinese food at 5 pm, Auggie and Arthur a little drunk, and everyone pitching in name ideas for the baby. Annie had suggested Roxanne, and Auggie suggested Serena, which I actually quite liked. Arthur had said something about how her middle name should be Henry Wilcox, and that's when I knew I would be driving us home. It had been a wonderful holiday overall, but now it was back to work. On Monday, Arthur had called Annie and Auggie to my office and half-jokingly threatened to sell them to terrorists if they told anyone they witnessed the DCS getting drunk on Thanksgiving. Auggie had said," I didn't see anything," and that made us all collapse into fits of laughter.

I ended my little walk down recent memory lane and rolled onto my other side. It was almost 9 am, but I was still lying in bed in a pair of flannel pajamas, wrapped up in blankets. It was the middle of winter in Virginia right now, and I was never one for freezing cold snowy weather. Arthur sat next to me, reading an applicant file. He looked down and saw that I was awake, and smiled. Leaning down so his face was level with mine, he gave me a kiss.

"Good morning, honey."

"Good morning."

"Whose file are you reading?," I asked, slowly sitting up in bed.

"Jai Wilcox."

"You're kidding. Do we really want to go down that road, Arthur?," I asked incredulously.

"That was my first thought, but if you think about it, he's a good fit. He's smart, experienced, and everyone in the DPD respects him. And he resents his father, which is a plus."

I thought about Arthur's reasoning. "And we would have Annie and Auggie to keep him grounded."

Arthur nodded. "I trust Jai, and as much as you might want to deny it, so do you."

"Ok," I agreed. "I'll think about it." I got out of bed and opened the closet doors, pulling out red maternity dress. I held it in my hands but didn't put it on, I just stood in font of the closet as if I was frozen. Arthur came up behind me and kissed my neck.

"Everything okay honey?"

"Mhhmm, yeah," I nodded, turning around and kissing him on the lips passionately. "I just… I just want you to know that I love you. More than anything."

"I love you too," he said, hugging me close to him. "Now let's go to work and make it through these next few weeks so we can have a relaxing holiday."

"Ok," I said, but I didn't move. I just couldn't, I didn't want to move. Truthfully, I was exhausted. Thinking of a whole day of work ahead of me made me feel like hoping back in bed and staying there. For what might have been the first time, I didn't want to go to work.

"Joan?" Arthur stared into my eyes, and I found myself looking back into his deep blue eyes. I wanted to get lost in those eyes.

"Are feeling alright, honey?"

"I'm fine, Arthur, but…" I hesitated. I would sound crazy to Arthur. As long as he had known me, I always on time or early to work, very driven and passionate about my job.

"But what?," He said gently. "You can tell me."

"I don't want to go to work. I'm exhausted….. I know I said I could do it, but-" I broke off, choking back a few tears that had come out of nowhere. "It's too much pressure, I just can't."

Arthur looked surprised and speechless. "Joan, honey-"

I cut him off. "I know, I know, I said I could do it. Maybe I'm just not strong enough."

I was crying now. I didn't recognize myself anymore. Crying? Feeling like work was too much pressure? This woman was the complete opposite of the one I knew six months ago. I let go of Arthur and sat down on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself and trying to stop the tears. Arthur sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

"Joan, you are the strongest woman I know. You're pregnant, not weak. This is part of being pregnant."

I looked at him sadly, wiping a few tears from my eyes. "But I feel weak. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm completely different than the woman I was six months ago."

"No you're not, sweetheart. You are the strong, sexy, driven woman I married. You're just going through a little emotional bump in the road. You'll get through it. We'll get through it together."

I smiled and wiped away the rest of my tears. "Really?"

He kissed my forehead. "Yes."

An hour later, Arthur and I entered the DPD hand in hand. When we got to my office, I let go of his hand to smooth my red maternity dress. He gave me a quick kiss and whispered," You can do it. I love you."

I had only been sitting at my desk for a few minutes before Annie came in.

"Good morning, Joan. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I said. I looked at Annie suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just wondering," she said with a smile. She turned and left the room, calling out, "Let me know if you need anything!" as she left. I went over emails for an hour, moving the picture of me and Arthur on my desk into my eyesight to keep myself calm. I peered through my glass wall to see Jai at his desk, working diligently. I thought about what Arthur said this morning, then picked up my phone.

"Joan? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, honey." Why did everyone act like I was so fragile? "I was just thinking about what you said about jai this morning. I think we should give him the position. I could start training him now, which would make me more relaxed. It would be nice to know someone can cover me if I have another day like this morning."

"That's a fantastic idea. I'll run in by the DNI and then come down to your office so we can tell Jai."

"Great. See you soon."

"Ok, love you."

I hung up the phone and went back to my emails. 15 minutes later, Auggie entered my office.

"Hey, Joan."

"Auggie! You can't tell, but I'm smiling right now," I informed him. I got up and guided him to the couch, then sat next to him.

"Is this an impostor? I've never heard Joan this joyful, especially without coffee."

I laughed. "Truth be told, I did not want to come to work today. It's just nice to see you."

Now he laughed. "And I've never heard you make a joke like that, either. Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes!," I said exasperatedly. "Why does everyone assume I'm crazy or going into labor or something equally serious? 10 minutes after I got here this morning, Annie came in just to ask how I was feeling."

Auggie turned in my general direction and felt for my hand. I slipped it into his and he squeezed it. "Because we care about you and we don't want any more scares."

I bit my lip. Arthur had told Auggie about my fainting episode on thanksgiving, when he was a little less drunk, and Annie must have told him about me getting and going home early a few weeks ago. I didn't care that he knew. Auggie was a very close friend, and I appreciated everything nice thing he did for me. My eyes teared up.

"Thanks, Auggie," I choked, giving him a hug.

"Whoa, keep it in your pants, Joan. God, you pregnant women really are hormonal," he joked, and we laughed. He hugged back and we sat in silence for a few minutes, neither one of us ready to let go. There was a knock on the door, and Auggie let go.

"Come in!"

Arthur entered the room with a smile and his face that turned to confusion when he saw Auggie on the couch and my face stained with tears.

"What's wrong?"

"I tell Joan we care about her, and she starts to blubber. I gotta be more careful around pregnant women, Arthur," Auggie said, getting up. Arthur laughed as he closed the blonds on my glass walls. He walked over to me and put his arm around me, then kissed the top of my head.

"I wouldn't ask you to leave, Auggie, but we have to go into matters above your clearance level."

"It's ok, Arthur, I have some work to do. Hang in there, Joan."

Once we were alone, I kissed him frantically, pulling him over to the couch. He kissed back, and pulled me closer to him. We kissed for a few minutes before coming up for air.

I panted," Sorry…. I just really missed you." Arthur laughed and grinned. "It's ok."

We both straightened out our clothes, and I smoothed my hair, which I had straightened and left down today.

"So what did the DNI say?"

"He thinks it's a wonderful idea, he agrees that Jai will do a fine job and not let his father influence him."

I smiled. "Great. I'll go get him."

I walked outside of my office and surveyed the DPD, looking for Jai. I spotted him leaned against Annie's desk with that flirtatious look in his eyes and laughed to myself. Then I put on a straight face and yelled, "Jai!" he looked up and I motioned for him to come with me. He crossed the desk-filled area and joined me, following me into my office where Arthur stood near my desk. The room was silent for a moment, and then Arthur spoke.

"Jai, as you know we are currently in the process of finding someone to replace Joan for the few months she is on maternity leave. We feel you may be a good fit to run the DPD during that time."

Jai's face had an expression of pleasant surprise. He reached and shook Arthur's hand, then mine.

"Thank you, I greatly appreciate this opportunity."

I smiled. "Starting next week, you'll be working with me part of the day, training, if you will. If we feel you're a good fit, we will make it official in January."

Jai nodded, and walked towards the office door.

"Jai," Arthur said. "We trust you. Don't let us be wrong."

Jai nodded and closed the door. Although Arthur hadn't said, we all knew it was implied that Jai keep his father at arm's length during this time. His influence could only damage the DPD, and we didn't need any more of that.

I walked a few steps to Arthur and rest my head on his shoulder. He kissed my cheek.

"Why don't we rally and try to get home by 6?"

"Sounds perfect."

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Sorry this chapter was a bit short but I've hit a bit of a writer's block. Please PLEASE review with feedback and ideas on what you want to see next!


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, I had final exams and have been super busy with the holidays! This chapter took a while to write but I am very proud of it. I would really appreciate feedback and what you want to see next, so please review! To keep the timeline going, I will put the last few chapters at the bottom. Enjoy! Oh, and congrats to Piper Perabo for getting a Golden Globe nom for_ Covert Affairs_!

A/N: It is not known that Henry is the leak yet

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**Joan's POV**

It had been a week since Jai had been appointed my replacement, and Henry Wilcox still didn't know. I wanted to put it off as long as possible, but Arthur and I were taking our holiday break in three days and when we got back it would be official.

"Honey, the truth is, I'm a little scared to tell Henry. He could…. breathe fire, or something. I don't know," I confessed to Arthur in the car on our way to the Agency. "He's done some pretty evil things."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it," Arthur said, turning past the barrier into the CIA parking lot. He laughed. "But he won't breathe fire."

That gave me some comfort, but not a lot. I reached into my bag for my water bottle and took a long drink from it. When I stepped out of the car, my teeth immediately started to chatter. Arthur rubbed my arms in an effort to keep me warm, then took my arm and walked inside with me. Our plan was for me to go straight to his office, we had scheduled Henry for a 10 am appointment. Jai was going to be running things down in the DPD until I got there after lunch, we had decided that he could come to Arthur's office at around 10:30 after we told Henry, but we didn't want him there when Henry found out his son was going to be head of the Domestic Protection Division for 2 months. Or 3 months, we hadn't decided yet.

When we got to Arthur's office, I slipped out of my coat and hung it on a coat rack in the back of Arthur's office. When I turned around, I jumped. Arthur's face was just a few inches from mine. He laughed and kissed my pink, cold nose.

"You startled me!," I accused, kissing him on the lips. "Don't you have work to do?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. But I have this beautiful woman in my office who is rather distracting," he joked as he walked to his desk. I laughed and sat down at the table in the middle of his office.

"Well, beautiful or not, I have work to do too," I groaned, looking down at a file Auggie had emailed me last night after I went home early. "I cannot wait for some vacation time."

Arthur looked up from his computer. "It's so sexy when you talk out of character like that," He laughed, picking up his phone. "We have an hour and a half until Henry gets here, let's power through." He dialed the DNI's office and began a long conversation, and I emailed Auggie from my laptop.

Sure enough, exactly one and a half hours later, henry was outside Arthur's office, waiting. Arthur's receptionist of sorts called in, and when Arthur told me I suddenly became very nervous. He kissed me and told me that I had authority over Henry and had to show poise, there was nothing to worry about. Arthur went to get Henry, and I sat in a chair next to Arthur's behind his desk. Self-consciously, I looked down and my belly. I had worn grey pants a black top today that had an empire waist, so my stomach wasn't as pronounced. I rubbed the bump and whispered, "It's ok, honey." My head snapped up when I heard Arthur and Henry enter the room.

"As always, good to see you Henry."

"You too, Arthur. Ah, Joan! How are you?"

I stood and smiled politely at Henry. "Good, you?"

"I'm doing well."

Arthur joined me behind the desk and sat down, taking my hand in his and squeezing it where Henry couldn't see.

"So," Henry said pompously. "What is it you two want to discuss with me?"

He didn't seem angry, so he must have thought we were approaching him to replace me. Or maybe he was so full of himself he thought Arthur was stepping down and he was going to be DCS again. I had to keep myself from laughing.

"Well, Henry," Arthur said, looking at me. "Joan and I have chosen her replacement while she is on maternity leave. We have decided Jai would do a fantastic job, and he has been working with Joan for the past week to learn the ropes, and will continue to."

Henry looked furious. "Jai? He's only been back in the States for a year and he's a field agent, hardly equipped for the job. He doesn't have enough experience or the skills it takes!"

Arthur opened his mouth, but I beat him to it. "Jai has been doing an excellent job this past year and we see him fit for this job. The least you could do is support your son!"

Henry stood up. "There's support, and then there is lying, making someone believe they can do something they are simply not prepared to take on!"

I stood too, putting a hand on my stomach. "And who do you suggest? Yourself? You are hardly a candidate. Of all the despicable, low things you've done – "

"Including leaking information to Liza Hearn."

Arthur, Henry, and I turned to see Jai in the doorway. " What did you just accuse me of?," Henry sputtered, his face turning red with increasing fury. Jai walked up to Arthur's desk and handed Arthur a folder. He stood up and flipped through it. When he got to the back of the folder, he took out a picture and held it up. It was Henry, standing in discreet corner of what appeared to be a bookstore, handing Liza Hearn an envelope. I couldn't believe it. Henry was the leak?

Arthur pressed a button on his desk phone and said, "Please bring in security to escort Mr. Henry Wilcox out of my office and into an interrogation room."

Henry was livid. "You two will run this agency to the ground! It was only a matter of time before she got the information on her own!"

I walked around the desk until I was standing right in front of Henry. "No, Henry, you would have. But at least before you were charged with a federal crime, you taught me something very valuable."

Arthur and Jai looked confused.

"He did?"

"Yes," I said confidently. "How _not _to treat your child. We tell you your son will be running the DPD for 2 months, and instead of being supportive and excited, you explode. I will never treat our daughter that way."

Arthur smiled. A man in a security uniform appeared in the doorway and took Henry. "Arthur, do you want me to save him for you?"

"Yes, please," Arthur said. "I'll be down there as soon as I have time. Thank you, Peter."

Peter dragged a still furious Henry out of the office. When he was gone, Arthur turned to me with admiration in his eyes and said, "That was amazing."

I smiled and kissed him. It was long, passionate kiss. When we broke apart, I realized Jai was still standing a few feet away from us.

"I'm sorry, Jai," I apologized.

"It's alright," he grinned.

"Jai, how did you figure this whole thing out?," Arthur asked. "This evidence is what we've been searching for for months."

Jai smiled mysteriously. "A good spy never reveals his secrets." We laughed. "I'll tell you, along with everyone else, when we question him."

Arthur was barricaded in interrogation all afternoon, trying to get everything done so we could still get home early. I had only been in the DPD for ten minutes before Auggie came in, his bright green light shining on my belly. I laughed.

"Hey, Auggie."

"Joan. You're in a good mood today," Auggie smiled.

"I am," I smiled. "Unfortunately, I can't tell you why quite yet."

Auggie laughed. "Joan, may I ask you something?"

"Fire away," I said, guiding him to the couch and sitting him down next to me.

"I heard some rumors that Jai Wilcox has been in your office all morning. Is that true?"

I sighed. "Yes. No one else can know this until January, but he will be replacing me while I am on maternity leave."

Auggie grimaced. I understood the look well. "But we're hoping Annie will keep him grounded, along with you. Will you do me that favor?"

He laughed to himself and smiled that irresistible grin of his. "Sure. Damn, I wish I could have applied."

I gave him a sympathetic look even though he couldn't see it and squeezed his arm.

"Truthfully, I do too. I think it's unfair that you couldn't apply, you're hardly disabled. You go much faster than most of the agents around here who can see, and heading the DPD requires no filed work at all. But you're very skilled in the tech division, and we appreciate that."

Auggie smiled and squeezed my hand. "Thanks, Joan."

"Anderson?"

I turned to see a techie standing in the half-open doorway. "We need you to look at some encrypted coding." He stared at me. "Hello, Mrs. Campbell."

I smiled and helped Auggie up. I watched him leave and then sat down to do my work, praying Arthur's questioning of Henry was going well. Henry could be completely evil at times, and he was likely giving Arthur the hardest time of his life.

Arthur finished late and we ended up leaving at 9 pm. I fell asleep within moments of getting in the car, only waking up for the few minutes it took Arthur to get me inside and for me to change into sweats. I fell back asleep quickly and had an awful dream. I dreamed I got violently sick to the point where I was spitting up blood, so Arthur took me to the emergency room. They kept putting me under anesthesia and waking up me, taking blood, and doing strange tests. After hours and hours, it was determined I had a rare stomach bug that was potentially poisonous. They got it out of my system, but Arthur and I lost the baby. I woke up crying, startling a not-yet-caffeinated Arthur. He spent 15 minutes soothing me and reminding me it was just a dream.

And now it was Friday, our last day before Arthur and I took the longest vacation in our careers. I stood a few feet behind Arthur and Jai, who were standing at a podium in our largest conference room at the CIA, giving everyone the full story on the leak. Only to Agency employees, however. We had kept the leak undercover from the press and once Liza Hearn's stories stopped, which they were bound to any day now that her source was cut off, everything would go back to normal. I beamed proudly and smoothed my navy maternity top as Arthur gave his final announcement.

"Now that we have our high-profile leak out of the way, I would like to announce that my wife, head of the DPD Joan Campbell, and I are expecting a baby girl in April."

He motioned me forward and I blushed as people clapped. I thought it was a little ridiculous that Arthur had wanted to announce it at first, in front of the entire Agency, some of whom we did not know, but he said he was so proud and excited he wanted to tell people. Telling people the baby's sex was new, only Auggie and Annie and maybe a few others had known before. I heard a loud whooping that I determined to be Auggie's from the back of the room and smiled brighter.

When Arthur and I got home that night, we immediately collapsed into each other's arms and sat on our bed. We talked about everything: how it was going training Jai, the tough time Henry gave Arthur during interrogation, my friendship with Auggie, baby names, holiday plans. It felt like we hadn't talked in ages about anything but who was going to temporarily replace me and my crazy emotions. After a while, our conversation became slower and we just enjoyed the comfort of being together.

Arthur brushed some hair away from my face and said," I miss this." He kissed the top of my head and gave me a little squeeze. I turned my head and kissed him passionately, then laughed. "Me too."

I sat up and turned so I was facing him instead of laying my head against his chest and kissed him again, deeper. I felt a rush of hormones, like fire in my veins, and I wanted them to take control of my body. Arthur kissed back and put his hands on the sides of my face. My fingers became tangled in his hair and every once and a while when we came up for air, I would whisper, "I love you." It didn't take long for Arthur to slip off his shirt and tie, and a few minutes later we were both wearing only our underwear. It was still amazing to be with him, but it didn't feel the same when we both had to be careful of my stomach. When I opened my eyes Sunday morning, Arthur was staring at me with a look of adoration. I kissed him and snuggled closer with a realization that our lives would be completely different in a few years. In the mornings, a little girl might be crawling in bed between us or sitting on the couch watching tv when we woke up.

"Everything will change, won't it?"

Arthur nodded and stroked my hair. "But I'll never stop loving you."

"Me neither," I agreed. And even after all that fighting months ago, all the angst and emotion and tension, it was the truest thing I've ever said.

* * *

Chp. 8 – 15 weeks (almost four months)

Chp. 9 - 15 weeks

Chp. 10 – 16 weeks (4 months)

Chp. 11 – 17 weeks

Chp. 12 – 20 weeks (5 months)

Chp. 13 – 21 weeks - This is how far along Joan is currently!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Joan's POV**

I woke up on Christmas morning with a small headache. Tossing and turning for a few minutes, I had gotten up to get Ibuprofen from the bathroom when I realized Arthur wasn't in bed. My heart rate picked up, and I pulled my favorite purple and yellow swirly kimono tighter around my body as if I expected it to keep me safe. I tiptoed into the living room, where our tree sat, lit up with presents under it. Every time I walked past that tree, I marveled at it. Some years Arthur and I didn't even have time to get a tree, much less decorate it. It was magical, with all the lights and colorful sphere ornaments. I was brought out of my trance by footsteps coming from the garage. I grabbed the closest, heaviest object, which happened to be a thick coffee-table book on Brussels, ready to throw it at whoever walked through the door.

"Joan? What the hell…?"

I screamed and dropped the book when I saw Arthur, all bundled up in his coat and scarf, coming in from the garage holding a Starbucks cup. I put my hand on my heart, trying to steady its insane beating while I caught my breath. Arthur set the cup on the counter and laughed.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!," I wheezed as he walked over to me and put his arms around me. He planted a soft kiss on my temple, then went back over to the counter and handed me the Starbucks cup. Confused, I watched him bend over and pick up the Brussels book, and set it on the coffee table.

"We didn't have any tea for you, so I went to Starbucks," He explained, returning my stare. He laughed again. "What crazy thing did you think was going on?"

I blushed and took a sip. Mhhmmm, peppermint.

"I _might_ have thought there was murder/rapist/kidnapper in the garage," I mumbled, taking another sip of tea. Arthur laughed and took the cup from my hands, placing in on the coffee table. He kissed my now warm lips with his cold ones, sending shivers down my spine.

"You are so adorable."

When we broke apart, he sat on the couch and pulled me down next to him. I took a sip of tea as he bent down to take presents from under the tree. When he sat back down next to me and handed me a box, I smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?," he asked, his face the picture of adorable confusion.

"For the tea, for…..everything."

He smiled and leaned towards me, our lips meeting in a short kiss. We broke apart, but I still felt fuzzy, like I was on a high. Not a drug-induced high, although I _may_ have experienced that before. Only Arthur could make me like this, lovesick.

"Joan?"

Arthur was staring at me curiously. I blushed and smiled but offered no explanation, instead I looked down at the present in my lap. It was wrapped in green and red striped paper, and had a big silver bow on it. Thick black letters written in Sharpie on the top of the box said, _To Joan, Love Arthur._ Arthur smiled in anticipation as I ripped the paper off and opened the box.

"Yogalates and Pilates workout dvds?," I laughed. It was the most random, uncharacteristically Arthur thing he had ever given me. He grinned.

"For after the baby is born. Knowing you, you'll need something to burn up all your free time when you can't work and the baby is asleep, if she ever sleeps. I think you'll still look beautiful, no matter how much baby weight you have, – " I widened my eyes in horror at the very idea. " – but knowing you, you'll want to work it off before you come back to the Agency."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him in a big hug, while being careful of our daughter.

"Thank you, honey. That's one of the most thoughtful things you've ever done for me!"

Arthur laughed and gave dismissive wave of his hand. "Not really."

"Yes!," I insisted. Then I remembered something. "Unless you remember our first Christmas after we got married, " I said coyly.

Arthur's face went from a sweet smile to wide-eyed, as if he just seen a ghost. "Ohhh…"

I laughed. "And I didn't even know you could sing!"

Arthur coughed and I saw a tinge of red in his cheeks. "Uhh, I don't know what you're referring to, my dear.."

I laughed until my ribs hurt. "Yes, you do! I can see it on your face! Remember, I was pouring us coffee and you started to sing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'?"

"You joined in," Arthur said defensively. I let out another laugh and then covered my mouth with my hand. "And that wasn't thoughtful."

"No," I agreed. "But it was romantic." I kissed the tip of his nose. "I'm afraid my gift isn't as amazing."

I pulled a small bag off the coffee table and handed it to him. An envelope stuck out of the top, taller than the bag. Arthur pulled it out and opened it to find the letter I had written him. He unfolded the paper and read it aloud:

_Dear Arthur,_

_I still remember the first time I saw you. It was 9 years ago, my first day back at the Agency after my overseas work in Brussels and Nairobi. I felt completely out of place among all the agents in their mid-twenties, I wasn't much older than them but I felt it. I'd only heard of you a few times, in reports and such, but I hadn't expected you to be so charming. I walked into the DPD and the first thing I saw was you, outside your office and deep in conversation with Henry Wilcox, who was DCS at the time. I swear I could see your deep blue eyes from across the room. I approached you to introduce myself as your newest agent, and I went weak at the knees, in a very stereotypical way. When I shook your hand, I knew I'd fallen for you. It didn't help matters that I heard you were married, or that we had little interaction for the first 3 months I was there. I didn't care. Just hearing you say things like, "Joan, I have an assignment for you," made me swoon. I felt ridiculous, after all I was at the CIA to build an icy exterior, not pretend my life was a romantic movie. The entire reason I joined the Agency in the first place was to get away from emotions. I was scared and lonely when I left Brussels, but I had to do it. When we became friends, and then, more… I felt extremely guilty. After all, you were married! But I was so in love I didn't think about consequences. I had you, and that gave me a reason to smile. _

_I haven't done a very good job of telling the story, but my bottom line is this: I feel more in love with now than I did that day I walked into the DPD and my heart started to race before I even heard you speak. I have confidence in our marriage, and I know our daughter will be the luckiest girl in the world, because she has you. I love you, more than anything in the world._

_Joan _

I blushed, hearing that whole thing out loud. When I wrote it, I wasn't organizing my thoughts very well, I just wanted him to know that I'd always loved him. Arthur looked speechless.

"Arthur?"

"Joan, I have something to tell you."

I bit my lip and waited in anticipation. "What?"

"That first day, when you shook my hand and introduced yourself, I thought you were beautiful. I felt something."

I widened my eyes in disbelief.

"You thought I was beautiful? Oh, Arthur…" Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried to compose myself. Arthur smiled and kissed me softly, then pulled me tighter into his arms.

"God, I'm being so sappy," I mumbled, wiping a few tears from my eyes. Arthur laughed.

"It's ok."

He picked up the bag with his present. "Can I open this now?"

I wiped my eyes and nodded, then sat up so I was in his lap. I bit my lip nervously, hoping he would like it. Arthur pulled out a cd and read the song list on the cover.

"Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, Gravity by Sara Bareilles, Fallout by Sofi Bonde…."

Arthur looked confused so I interjected," Romantic songs. Well, what I think are romantic songs. I didn't know what to get the man who has been so wonderful and caring to me all these months. At first I thought it wouldn't last, you'd become so different that I wasn't sure how it would work out. But I really believe you've changed. We both have. We've placed family before work, and I'm proud of us. Of you."

Arthur smiled and kissed me and the cheek. "I'm proud of you too. Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas."

Arthur and I continued to have an amazing vacation. We tried our hardest to stay away from anything work-related, but Arthur did have one phone conference with the DNI regarding Henry Wilcox and the next step in his conviction. Other than that, it was blissful. We went on walks round our neighborhood, found a cute café we liked that was only a 25 minute walk from the house. We had never been too involved in our surroundings, given the amount of time work took up. Nights were spent in front of CNN and the local news, then a good movie. My favorite part of the whole thing was sitting on the couch leaned up against Arthur, in between his legs and his arms around me so he could feel the baby and rub my stomach. We reminisced about the old days at the CIA, our secret love affair and the many close calls we dealt with during that time. Arthur told me that when he became DCS and suggested me for the DPD head, there were some suspicions of our affair that he skillfully dismissed. Laughing with Arthur, being together all the time, it reminded me of those days, when every moment was precious. I'd almost felt like after we got married, we stopped trying to make even the most average of tasks special. We just settled into a pattern. And now, we were falling in love all over again, and it was wonderful.

Unfortunately, it had to end. It was Monday morning and I was searching through my closet for the right thing to wear for our formal announcement of Jai's new job. Temporary job.

"I think that red top would look fabulous with those grey pants you have," Arthur said, walking into the bedroom and handing me a mug of tea. He was already fully dressed, and holding both his briefcase and my bag.

"Oh, really? You're not just saying that because it's a v-neck?," I asked coyly, pulling the top over my white lace bra. Arthur snorted.

"No… not at all, darling, don't be ridiculous." His eyes were mischievous. I recognized that look all too well.

"Arthur..," I warned. "We cannot get off track this morning. We had the last two weeks were we did nothing but… _that_." I gave him a sexy smile. "But we have a lot to do today."

I went into the bathroom to finish my makeup as Arthur said," Oh alright. I should have known you were excited to get back to work." I laughed as I applied mascara to my eyelashes. Arthur's phone rang and he answered it as I finished my makeup. I slipped on a pair on black pumps, and as I was taking my coat off the hook in the living room Arthur came in, saying," I understand…. We are on our way."

"What? What happened?," I asked, seeing the grave look on Arthur's face.

"You're not going to believe this."

* * *

My god, I'm just loving making them mushy. But I don't want to forget that Joan is still at the CIA, so get ready for a surprise! Oh, and Merry Chrismukkah to everyone! Maybe give me a review as a present? ;)


	15. Chapter 15

Hello everyone! As I said last A/N, I didn't want to forget the CIA element of this story, so I hope you like what I came up with. And I did another bit with Arthur's POV because I felt the story needed some more of that. I also came across this fantastic interview with Kari Matchett, who plays Joan, in which she states,"Joan is not a bitch."

* * *

**Arthur's POV**

Joan and I rushed to the CIA immediately after I got the call. I sent Joan to her office, and told her I would call her when I knew everything. David had called me and told me that they had learned something big from Henry when they brought him in this morning after giving him 5 days to be with his family. I was read in when I arrived at Clandestine Services this morning. Of the many possibilities that went through my head, I had not expected this. At least it connected a few things Liza had inquired about when she and Auggie were together. But still, this was crazy.

I picked up the phone and called Joan. I didn't want to worry her, and I certainly didn't want any stress. She was working hard enough as it was.

"Joan? Come down to my office, I can explain that phone call now."

I heard her take a deep breath. "On my way."

I watched the door for Joan while I paced, trying to organize my thoughts. When I saw her enter, my heart skipped a beat. She looked gorgeous in a red v-neck maternity top and grey pants, her black heels softened by the carpeting my office. She looked tired, but that didn't dim her beautiful, pregnant glow. She saw me light up and gave a small smile. I walked up to her and kissed her cheek, then shut the door.

"Please, honey, sit," I gestured to a chair in front of my desk. She lowered herself into the chair and I sat down in a chair next to her instead of behind my desk. Joan looked concerned, so I squeezed her hand.

"You know I got a call this morning saying it was urgent we go to Langley immediately," I said calmly, starting off slow. "Henry was brought back in this morning. And he had some surprises we never saw coming."

Joan nodded and rubbed my hand with her thumb, then gave it another squeeze. "What did he say?"

"The Albion Group. I never told you because I didn't want you implicated, but last year, right around the time Ben resurfaced and got Annie involved with that art auction business, Liza Hearn asked Auggie about the Albion Group. He came to me, and we gave her a false lead in order to narrow down who her source might be, based on the information we believed she had."

"Ok," Joan nodded. She looked at me curiously. "Why are you acting so odd?"

"I'm not," I reassured her, giving her a little smile. "I just don't want to overwhelm you. There's a lot you need you know."

"I can handle it," she said softly. "Continue."

I cleared my throat. "Well, Liza came back to Auggie a day later knowing we were about to send her on a wild goose chase, which told us her source could be from a small group of people. This morning, Henry dropped the bomb on the DNI. He and Mercer were involved in a set of deeply undercover ops from the Albion Group. They were all set up, ready for Ben to set everything in motion after he finished his op in Sri Lanka. But then…"

"Annie," Joan finished.

"Yes. Mercer got off track and went rogue, and Henry had to put off their plans. He needed Mercer to do the field work, get the Agency connections and resources, what with Henry being retired. He came back, and Henry tried to convince him to pick up where they left off, but Ben refused. That night, after he saved Annie during her first week, he went to Henry and said he couldn't do it. Henry was furious, and two months later when he came back again, Henry played on Ben's emotions and threatened him. He needed to get Sabine back from Sri Lanka to help them set the plan back in motion."

"So what does Liza's article on you have to do with this?" Joan looked worried. Her eyes widened and her expression turned horrific. "Oh my god, they're not trying to kill you or something?"

"No," I said soothingly, squeezing her hands again. "They're just trying to get me fired. For reasons Henry has yet to disclose, he wanted to destroy me. Put my operatives in jeopardy, eliminate threats before we have the time and make me look irresponsible, kill my career."

"But how did they get Henry to admit all this?," Joan asked.

"Apparently he made the mistake of mentioning something about the Albion Group from an article Liza Hearn had not published yet. "

Joan smiled that sexy smile she usually used when she was right and I wrong. "I knew he would screw up eventually."

I nodded. "So that's what's going on. I didn't want you to feel you were in the dark."

Joan leaned forward and kissed me. "And I appreciate that. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Nothing related to Henry, just go about your business as usual. Slowly and at a relaxing pace."

Joan laughed, and I joined in. Then I stood up and held my hand out to her. We kissed once more and then she walked out of my office and back to the DPD, calling out, "Home at 8?," over her shoulder.

"Yes," I replied, and then sat back down at my desk. Joan had taken it fairly well. Unfortunately, I was more concerned than ever. From what David was able to get out of Henry, she was in danger too.

**Joan's POV**

I got home that night and went straight to the bathroom for a hot bath. It was 9:30, but I didn't care. Arthur had been tied up at work late, and when he insisted I go home without him, I refused. I didn't like being alone anymore. Especially after the few scares I'd had, I wasn't taking any chances. I sat on our bed and slipped off my shoes. Arthur walked in after me, loosening his tie.

"You ready to turn in?"

"Nope," I said as I pulled off my shirt. I stood up so I could slip out of my pants. "I need a nice, hot bath."

Arthur looked amused. He slipped of his suit jacket and hung it in the closet. "This late?"

"Yes," I said, walking into the bathroom in my underwear to turn the water on in the bathtub. I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the bed, listening to the tub fill up and reading a pregnancy book. Arthur let out a small laugh and went about changing into a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He came over to the bed and kissed my temple. I smiled and handed him my book.

"I think the bath's ready. Maybe you want to read up on burping?"

Arthur looked at the book. "Only because I love you, and you know I can't resist that's sexy smile of yours."

I grinned and took off my bra and panties, then slipped into the tub. Ahhhhhh. I leaned back and let myself be completely submersed in water. I closed my eyes and cleared my head. I stayed that way for what felt like hours, only poking my nose out of the water for air when I needed it. When I opened my eyes, I saw Arthur leaning over the tub, which startled me. I lifted my head out of the water.

"Hey."

"I wanted to let you know it's 10:45. I really you should get some sleep, honey."

"I'll get out soon. Unless…. You want to join me?," I asked coyly, smiling. Arthur laughed, dipping his arm in the warm water and gently pushing water around.

"It would be my pleasure."

The next week went by in a blur. They couldn't lock Henry up officially because Arthur and a few of his colleagues believed Henry was still hiding things. Jai was a wonderful apprentice, and he was learning quickly. It was nice to have afternoons where I felt I could go home early and leave him in charge. Annie was helpful too, but I noticed she had become more closed off since the holidays. I called her into my office Thursday afternoon, hoping to give her a chance to talk to someone.

"Joan?"

I looked up from my desk and saw Annie in my doorway. I smiled.

"Annie. Come in, sit down."

Annie closed the door behind her and sat on the couch, and I got up and joined her. She looked tired. There were bags under her eyes, and her usually perky smile was dimmed.

"Annie, how have you been?"

"Fine," she said, not making direct eye contact. "I'm good."

"Really?," I asked softly. "Annie, you can talk to me."

"I just…," she looked at me hesitantly. "It's still hard, all these months later. I was packing to move to a new apartment, you know, move out of my sister's, and I found my photo album from Sri Lanka." She fidgeted. "The one I hid after…"

I nodded sympathetically. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Annie nodded.

"A few months before you joined the CIA, Arthur and I were having a rough patch. A really bad one," I said. I felt odd giving Annie details of my personal life, but it was important she knew she had a friend. "Sometimes I wouldn't see him for days, unless it was at work, and we didn't speak. I took the picture of us off my nightstand and hid it. It tore apart inside, because I felt like I'd lost him. I thought he was having an affair, and I seriously considered leaving him. And then one night, I found the picture. My heart ached just looking at him, at the happy smile on his face."

Annie nodded. "You were trying to move on and let him go."

"Yes. I know it's very different with Ben, but my point is that you can love him, even if he's gone."

"How?," Annie asked, running her hand through her hair.

"By accepting the truth. It's hard, but you're a strong young woman. I have faith that you can do it."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, Joan," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I don't think I can. I still see his face, after he was shot, in my dreams. I don't know how to start letting go."

I pulled into her into a hug. "I can help you through it. And Auggie. We love you and we're here for you."

She nodded and took a tissue from a box I held out to her. She blew her nose and dried her eyes.

"Thank you Joan."

I cleared my throat, trying not to get sentimental. "Anytime, Annie. I'm always here."

Annie smiled and got up. "I should go…. I have work to do and everyone's buzzing about Jai's new job. Thanks again. Your daughter is gonna be a very lucky little girl."

"Thanks," I smiled, biting my lip. We'd had to send out an email announcing Jai's job due to our top secret Henry Wilcox crisis. After Annie left, I sat on my couch for a while, thinking. It had just dawned on me that I only had 3 months of my pregnancy left. My hands moved to my stomach, which I'd started to do almost subconsciously every time I got scared. I had been doing a pretty good job taking care of my body lately, and Arthur and I were getting along fantastically, but did I have it in me to be a mother?

A few nights later, Arthur and I were sitting on our bed reading baby name books and thinking of ideas with the cd I made Arthur playing softly in the background.

"What about Holly? Or Bailey? I'm also coming around to Kirsten or Kristin," Arthur mused, flipping through the name section of one of our books. "Caroline is pretty. Annabelle?"

I bit my lip and rubbed the baby nervously. "Arthur," I said abruptly.

"Oh, right, I forgot. You weren't a huge fan of Bailey." He looked up from the book and saw my face.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"What if I'm not made to be a mother?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Arthur said, reaching over to squeeze my hand. He kissed my cheek. "Of course you are. When you found out you were pregnant, you were scared to death. Now you're reading baby books and giving Annie advice."

I had told Arthur about my chat with Annie and he said he was proud of me. When he said, my face broke out in a huge grin. Now I felt like I was letting him down. I blinked back a few tears.

"Who am I kidding? I'm Joan Campbell, hard-ass bitch and Domestic Protection Division head. I'm not a soft and cuddly kind of woman."

Arthur pulled me close to him. "That was the old Joan. You're different now, you're grown. You're more passionate and emotional. And I love you even more than I did when we got married."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Yes," he said, kissing me. "You'll always be perfect in my eyes."

"Thank you, honey," I whispered, giving him a passionate kiss. "I love you."


	16. Chapter 16

Happy New Year, everyone! Enjoy and review, please :)

* * *

**Joan's POV**

I walked into my office, tea in hand, to find Jai already sitting on the couch with multiple files and documents strewn about.

"Jai?"

He looked up. "Good Morning, Joan."

I sat down on the small square of free space on the couch. "We've been back to work for a month and already you're getting here early? You must be very excited for this job."

Jai looked at the paper in his hand. "It's not just that. It's my father."

I froze mid-sip. Jai must have figured out the whole Albion Group business on his own, since Arthur wasn't planning on telling him quite yet. I waited for Jai to say something more.

"You see, I was looking in his file and found the confession from 2 weeks ago about Ben and him being involved in the Albion Group. I asked Arthur, and he told me what he knew. But something is missing."

Jai picked up a new folder and started flipping through its contents. I was confused.

"Arthur told you?"

Jai looked up. "Yeah. And he said he wanted to discuss it with you later."

"Ok," I said. Now I was a bit ticked off. Arthur could have at least told me. Jai sensed my annoyance and said, "He didn't really have a choice. I found most of it out by myself." He turned back to his files.

"Ok," I said, getting up and going to sit at my desk. "I don't really buy it, you know that, right?"

Jai laughed. "I know."

**Arthur's POV**

"Arthur? You have to tell her."

I looked up from computer to see Jai in my doorway. I made a motion for him to shut the door, then got up.

"It's not your place to suggest that, Jai."

Jai crossed the room and stood in front of my desk. He had a glint in his eye that I recognized. Determination, and a little bit of a smart-ass.

"She's your wife, Arthur. And not only that, you're her boss. Whether it's national safety or her safety, she deserves to know."

"And what about Annie?," I countered. "She's your friend. You care about her. Are you not planning on telling her anything?

"We both know that's b.s., Arthur. Ben might not have been a good guy, but he loved Annie. He wouldn't have wanted her harmed. His target was you, and those close to you."

I sighed in defeat. Jai was good. I rubbed my forehead and gestured for Jai to sit down, then did do myself.

"Ok, since you've got all the ideas, let's hear one. We need some sort of reassurance that Joan is safe. And we need to convince her to lay low for a few days."

"She'll never just take some time off work, Arthur, you know that."

"I do. But believe me when I say this: Joan is the most important thing in the world to me. That being said, it makes perfect sense that she would be targeted, and we can't let that happen. So you need to get together a small, highly skilled ops team, and do some digging. Joan itching to do some heavy work anyway. But _do not_ let her catch on."

Jai nodded. "Done. I'll get some of my guys together for the ops team. But Arthur, she needs to know if she's in danger."

I exhaled. "Fine. I'll tell her, you set up that ops team. Now."

I stared at Joan's office door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. Joan opened the door with a bright smile on her face. She pulled me into her office and gave me a quick kiss.

"Hi!"

"Well, hello," I said, grinning. She grinned back and took my hand, leading me to the couch.

"So what brings you here, Arthur?"

"Joan, I need you to take a few days off work," I said gently, bracing myself. "It's not safe for you to be here right now."

Joan looked confused and taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I can't say much, but it has to do with Henry Wilcox."

"I still don't understand."

"We know he was targeting me, and anyone around me, to bring me down. I'm worried you may be part of that."

"Ben is dead," Joan said suspiciously. "Arthur, I can't take more time off work, and you said yourself that Ben was Henry's hit man. He's gone, and Henry is locked up, so there's nobody to carry out whatever they planned."

I stared into her eyes, trying to reason with her. I could sense Joan getting impatient and irritated with me.

"But we don't know for sure that it was just to the two of them."

"Won't I be safer here, with you? Someone could easily get to me at home," Joan said angrily. "Don't make my decisions for me, Arthur."

"Joan, please. I'll get protection for the house. If you're here, you're implicated in us filling in the blanks Henry refuses to explain. Please, baby," I begged. "I'm asking because I love you."

Joan softened a little bit, but still looked upset. "But I just got back to work, Arthur. Why can't we work through this together?"

"Because I can't lose you. If there's even the slightest chance you could get hurt, I want you somewhere safe."

"Here is safe," Joan said, giving me that sexy smile of hers and leaning in to kiss me. I tried to stand my ground, but she was hard to resist, and she was kissing me as passionately as she could.

"Joan…."

She kissed me again, this time sucking on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"What?," she asked playfully.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I'm having your office monitored."

Joan pouted a little bit, but then sighed willingly. "Ok, fine. We can set it up with Auggie."

I smiled and laughed, holding her close to me. Then I stood up. "I'm sorry to leave you dear, but I have a lot to do."

Joan stood up too. I admired her body for just a few seconds. Her stomach was getting huge, but she still looked sexy. Her green maternity dress clung to her curves and it was hard to concentrate. However, my favorite things about my wife were her eyes. They were a mesmerizing blue-grey color, and they sparkled every time she smiled. I took her hand and kissed it.

"Until tonight, Joan."

She giggled with that sexy smile. "Don't work too hard."

**Joan's POV**

I sat in bed that night and I thought about what Arthur said to me this morning while he showered. I had felt triumphant when Arthur gave in and said I could stay at work, but now I was re-thinking what I'd said. It wasn't even about me. It was about our daughter. Any danger I could be in was greater for the baby. I'd made a promise to Arthur and to myself to treat my body well, to be a good mother. Maybe it was best if I took a few days off, started getting things together for when the baby is born, work on my marriage with Arthur. We had barely had any time to be together since we got back from the holidays and Henry dropped his little bomb on Arthur. Maybe if I was home, Arthur would come home sooner to make sure I was safe and not lonely, and then we could have some alone time…

I heard the shower go off and picked up the tv remote, turning the tv on to a random channel. Arthur came in a few minutes later in his robe. He sat down next to me on the bed, placing his hand on my belly. I smiled.

"Arthur?," I asked carefully.

"Yes, honey?"

"I was thinking about what you said earlier, about me possibly being in danger and you wanting me to stay home…"

"Yes," Arthur nodded, getting up to put on pajamas.

"You were right. I should stay home, take a few days off."

I bit my lip, waiting for Arthur to get smug and say something about how he's always right. Instead, he pulled his t-shirt on and then came back to the bed and sat down next to me. He took my hand and said," Thank you, Joan. You're making the right choice."

My jaw almost fell off. Arthur saw my face and laughed. "What?"

"I just – I just thought that..," I stammered, speechless.

"That I'd be smug?," Arthur asked. He laughed again. "I'm not going to do something that stupid and piss off a hormonal woman who is six months pregnant."

I grinned and kissed him. "You're really something, you know that?"

His face broke into an even bigger grin and he kissed me back. We melted together, kissing passionately. I tangled my fingers in his hair and moaned in pleasure. I had needed this all day.

A week later was Valentine's Day, and I was still home. Arthur had agreed to let me try and do some work, but it was difficult to give instruction to operatives and oversee missions via webcam. So I'd resigned myself to prepping for the baby, packing up one of guest bedrooms. Arthur had been worried it would cause too much pressure on my body, so I was only allowed to do a little a day. However, I had spent all of today working on making tonight perfect. It was Valentine's Day, Arthur promised to be home early, and I was confident everything would work out perfectly. Arthur and I would have a long night together, and since tomorrow was Saturday he could go into the Agency late.

I glanced at the clock. 7:30. Arthur would be home in half an hour. I ran from the kitchen, where I had been looking for matches, into our bedroom and changed into the sexiest lingerie I had that fit, which was a black lace bra-and-panty set that used to fit perfectly but was not a little small. I threw my kimono-style robe over it, tied the robe, and went back into the kitchen to find the matches. I was in the bedroom lighting the last candle when I heard the front door open.

"Joan?"

I grinned as I looked around our bedroom and gave myself a pat on the back. It looked good. The lights were dimmed but not off, six candles sat on the dresser, and I had placed vase filled with 12 red roses on each nightstand. It wasn't overdone or cheesy, it was perfect. I could hear Arthur putting his keys on the kitchen counter and hanging his jacket on the coat rack by the door. There was a gentle thud as he set his briefcase on the floor.

"Joan? Honey, you here?"

I looked around the room once more, still very please with myself, then checked to see that my robe was loosely tied. My hair was wavy and soft, and I was wearing very little makeup, the way Arthur liked it. I emerged from the bedroom and saw Arthur with his back to me, pouring himself a glass of water.

"Hello there," I purred as sexily as possible. I didn't usually act like a, well like a sex kitten, on purpose. "How was your day?"

Arthur turned around and his eyes widened. He smiled mischievously and set his glass of water down. He smiled and walked across the kitchen to me. I smiled that sexy smile he loved and raised my eyebrows.

"Like what you see?"

"Joan, you look….," Arthur trailed off. His eyes were filled with love and desire, I could see it.

"Yes?"

He pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around him and fell into him, feeling more love and passion than I'd ever felt before. When we broke apart, both slightly out of breath, he pulled of his jacket and tossed it on the couch. As he loosened his tie, he whispered," Irresistible."


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys! I am SO SORRY I haven't posted in so long! I was swamped with school, then hit a severe writer's block. This chapter is very short because I have literally run out of ideas! (the end of the chp. may be a bit abrupt, sorry) I want to finish this story, so please give me any and all ideas you have so I can continue!

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**Arthur's POV**

I went straight to the interrogation rooms that Sunday morning, not even bothering to stop at my office. I had wanted to come in yesterday, but Joan and I had been having a fantastic time together, and I couldn't leave her alone. But now she was home, looking at nursery paint chips, and Henry and I needed to have a talk. When I reached the room we were keeping Henry in, my heartbeat picked up. Things far more dangerous than this barely made me flinch, but since this involved Joan I was nervous. I put on my poker face and opened the door.

"Arthur. What a pleasant surprise."

Henry grinned evilly at me. He disgusted me.

"Henry, I need you to bring the bullshit to an end and tell me all there is to know about your sick schemes with Ben Mercer."

Henry just laughed dismissively. "Why?"

"You want to bring me down, I get it. But I don't want anyone else involved."

"Ahh, I see," Henry said. "You want to know if your wife is safe."

I didn't answer, I just stood my ground and looked him coldly in the eye.

Henry sighed. "Arthur, the whole operation was based on Mercer. His skill, his uncanny way of pissing you off, his connections. It's over. But don't think I give a damn about anyone close to you. I lost, and now I'm sitting here awaiting trial while you protect your wife and let my son succeed her. But it will never be over between us."

I laughed. "You're right, Henry. You lost. And if I find out you're lying, there will be hell to pay."

**Joan's POV**

How were there this many shades of pink? Arthur had directed me to the Home Depot website to look at paint colors for the baby's room with the promise that he would come home as early as he could tonight. My Valentine's Day plan had worked perfectly, and I had even convinced him to stay home all yesterday. I scrolled through the pinks again. I didn't like any of them, so I clicked the "lilac" section.

Suddenly, I heard a key turn in the front door. I set my laptop on the coffee table and got up to see Arthur walk in the front door. Without explanation, he walked up to me and kissed me enthusiastically on the lips. I kissed back happily. When we broke apart, I laughed," Well, you're in a good mood."

Arthur took my hands in his. He was a little breathless.

"I talked to Henry. It turns out the entire plan revolved around Ben, no one else. You're safe! You can come back to work as early as tomorrow. "

I threw my arms around him him. "Oh, Arthur! Really?"

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "Yes."

He took my hand and lead me to the couch. "So, find any good colors?"

I pulled my laptop off the table and showed him. "There were just way too many pinks, so I switched the lilacs and lavenders. I like this one." I pointed to a color called "soft lilac."

"That's pretty," Arthur said, smiling. "Why don't you order a few cans online and we'll paint next week."

I kissed him. "Sounds perfect."

On Monday I returned to the Agency and got to work right away. Jai and I still had a lot to cover, and we had 3 agents out in the field working to bring in a major arms dealer, so I had to check in with Auggie every few hours to make sure everything was running smoothly. The third time I came in, Auggie gently grabbed my wrist before I left his office and asked, "Joan, how are you feeling?"

I smiled and sat down on the edge of his desk.

"I'm ok."

"Good," he grinned, squeezing my hand before letting go of it. "I know you only have a few months left in your pregnancy, and I just wanted to make sure you weren't freaking out or anything."

I laughed and bent over to kiss Auggie's cheek. "You're so sweet, Auggie."

I stood up. "I can't chat, sorry. I have a lot to do."

"It's ok," Auggie smiled, slipping his headphones back on. "Have a good day."

"You too," I said, and I returned to my office."

After yet another long day at work I went to Arthur's office, ready to go home and relax. I knocked, and to my surprise, Arthur opened the door already ready to go, with his briefcase and everything. He turned off his office light and locked the door, chuckling at the bewildered look on my face.

"What?"

"It's just….so early! I didn't think you'd be ready for another hour, at least," I said. He kissed me.

"I was ready for some alone time with you."

I laughed and we walked to the car, talking about my first day back. When we got home we settled onto the couch with the still unfinished baby book Madison had sent us and the nightly news in the background. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, but I was exhausted. I had packed as much as I could into my first day back, not wanting to lose another moment until my maternity leave. My eyes slowly fluttered closed, and I stopped resisting. I could hear Arthur reading passages out loud, feel his chest moving. Maybe just a quick nap….


	18. Chapter 18

Hey guys! I am so sorry that I haven't been updating, but I had _extreme_ technical difficulties and now I am currently computer-less :( So I'm getting through Chp. 19 slowly but surely, and hopefully will have it in a few weeks. For now I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review with feedback! :) I will definitely get this story done before season 2 starts (it starts filming next month!)

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**Joan's POV**

"Joan?"

"Ughhh…," I groaned groggily. "What?"

"Honey, you have to get up," Arthur said gently. He rubbed my arm. "It's almost 10 am."

I pushed him away and buried my face deeper into my pillow.

"I just wanna sleeeep," I whined, my voice muffled both the pillow and the hair in my face.

I felt Arthur's fingers pulling my hair away from my face. He shook my shoulder gently once more.

"C'mon, Joan. You're lying on your stomach. That's gotta be killing your bladder, right? You're gonna have to get up sooner or later."

Damn. He'd called my bluff.

"Fine," I grouched, sitting up slowly. I avoided eye contact with him. "I do have to pee."

Arthur smiled and kissed my forehead. "And maybe you can brush your teeth while you're in there?"

I got out of bed and made my way into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, just like Arthur asked, and put on a little makeup. When I came out, I could hear Arthur in the kitchen, so I walked over to the closet to get dressed. I stared at myself in the full-length mirror next to the closet. My red and navy blue plaid flannel pajamas looked like something a man Arthur's age would wear, but the elastic band on the pants was comfy and the button down top was perfect for a woman who was 7 months pregnant. I turned back to closet and flipped through my clothes, staring at my tight, monochromatic dresses in longing. I couldn't wait to fit back into those. But until then, it looked like it would be a royal blue maternity dress.

I pulled the dress of the hanger and got a bra out of the dresser, then sat down on the bed. The clothes were in my lap, but I couldn't bring myself to undress and then redress. I really just wanted to get back in bed. Arthur walked through the bedroom door, fully dressed, and handed me a cup of tea.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Getting ready?"

He sat down next to me and sipped coffee from his cup. Coffee was another thing I wanted back. I just stared at his hand around the cup, his wedding ring one his finger glinting in the late morning sunlight streaming through a window on the other side of the room.

"Joan?," he looked into my eyes. "Are you okay, honey?"

"Fine…." I trailed off distractedly. He put his coffee on the bedside table and took my hand.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've been sleeping in very late and going to bed very early the past few weeks. Is going back to work becoming too stressful for you?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I just need a lot of rest."

He didn't look convinced, so I smiled and kissed him. "I'll be fine."

Arthur smiled back. "Want help getting dressed?"

"No," I said with a laugh, pulling my pajama top off and slipping into my bra.

"Well, maybe you could clasp this for me?"

"Anything for my lovely mother-to-be," Arthur laughed, clasping my bra together. When he finished, he kissed my neck.

"You put on your dress and I'll get our things in the car."

When I arrived at the DPD 20 minutes later, I was greeted by an annoyed Jai. It only took one look at his face to see how late I truly was.

"I'm so sorry, Jai."

"It's not that, although you could try to get here before noon."

"It's only 11 am," I said, hanging up my coat and turning on my computer. I sat down at my desk. "And what's wrong?"

Jai placed a folder on my desk. "My father's trial is tomorrow."

I opened the folder and widened my eyes. "Oh."

"Knock, knock. Can I come in?"

Jai and I looked to the door, where Annie stood with a smile on her face.

"Joan! I'm so glad you're here, I wanted to run something by you."

Jai looked weary. "Not know, Annie. We have something important to do."

Annie ignored him and turned to me with her eyes lit up.

"Joan, I want to throw you a baby shower! Well, Auggie and I do. We were thinking it could be very small, just the five of us. You know, Jai and Arthur and you and me and Auggie. Oh, and maybe some of your family members, if you want."

I was still a little shaken by what Jai had shown me regarding his father's trial. Annie's smile faded.

"Or maybe not…."

I snapped back to reality. "Oh, no, Annie, that sounds like a wonderful idea! I'm sorry, I just…. Henry's trial is tomorrow, and…" I showed her the file. "I was just a bit distracted."

Annie read the statement and her expression turned to a look of outrage. "What?"

Jai nodded grimly. "Yeah, that's what I said."

"But this says he has a chance of getting off with just a warning!," Annie practically yelled. "He committed treason, and just because he's a favorite of some of the board he gets off with a slap on the wrist?"

"Maybe," I said, trying to keep calm. "We don't know how it will all turn out. Believe me, Arthur wants to get him behind bars. And Arthur can be very persuasive when it comes to these matters."

Annie and Jai both had the look of defeat. They glanced at each other, then at me. I exhaled and put my face in my hands.

"Or we could be screwed."

The clock read 9:45 pm, but none of us had any intention of leaving the DPD. Jai paced back forth across my office while Auggie and I sat on the couch. Annie was sitting at my desk, translating random articles from foreign newspapers. She claimed to be looking for patterns, but she was doing what we had all spent the last 3 hours since the trial started doing: trying to distract ourselves. All we could do was wait and make awkward small talk. Auggie and I had already discussed furniture placement in the nursery at length, and Jai had stopped talking to anyone 2 hours ago. I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands, letting out a long sigh. Annie looked up from her papers and gave me a sympathetic smile that said, _It's gonna be ok._ But even she looked unsure.

Suddenly, a knock on the door startled us out of our trance-like state. I jumped up and walked to the door, pulling it open hastily.

"Arthur!"

Auggie sharply turned his head in the direction of the door and Annie got up from the desk and walked towards the doorway. Jai's head snapped up and he stared at Arthur.

"What's the verdict?," he asked coldly.

Arthur exhaled. "Guilty."

He smiled and put his arms around me, pulling me close. Jai sighed with relief and hugged Annie tightly. Auggie laughed and gave a loud sign of relief, then got up and located Annie and Jai with his green light. Annie turned around and hugged him, smiling. I looked up at Arthur.

"Let's go home."

I got my coat and bag and the five of us left my office. Jai went to his desk to get his things, saying goodnight to me and Arthur. Auggie did the same, giving me a hug and then making his way to his office. I squeezed Annie's hand.

"See you tomorrow, Annie."

When Arthur and I got home, I was exhausted. I laid down on my back on the bed and Arthur sat next to me. He bent over and kissed me, melting all the pain away, from the stress headache I had developed this morning to my feet, which hurt from wearing heels (something that never used to happen) and making me feel warm and happy. After we broke apart, I asked him," So, how bad was it?"

He laid down and took my hand.

"Brutal. Henry just sat there, refusing to talk for a while except simple 'yes' and 'no' answers. Then, he started to plead innocent. Innocent! Oh, it was awful to sit through. Painful, even. I'm so glad you didn't have to be there, honey."

"I'm so sorry you had to sit through it."

"Thinking about seeing you when it was all over helped me get through it," Arthur said softly. He pulled me close to him ands kissed me passionately. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around him. I had been anxious all day, and it had felt like days since I had seen Arthur.

"I love you," Arthur whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I smiled.

"I love you too."

The next morning I slept til noon, prompting Arthur to worry. When I woke up, there was a note his pillow, telling me that I had the day off of work and he had scheduled a doctor's appointment for me at 4 pm. I called him as soon as I finished reading the note.

"Arthur, I am fine. I don't need to see the doctor. Excessive sleep is just part of being pregnant, sweetheart."

"I just care about you. Call me overprotective, but the few scares we've had…..they've really scared me. I want to make sure everything is perfect, because I love you and our daughter more than anything."

I laughed quietly and smiled. I couldn't argue with that one. And Arthur knew that.

"Ok," I gave in. "I'll call you after I go to the doctor's."

"Love you, Joan."

"Love you too."

When I got home from the doctor's, I turned on my laptop and called Arthur.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine," I laughed. "I told you, honey, everything is fine. told me to tell you not to worry so much."

I could hear Arthur smiling. "Good to know. Hey, has Annie mentioned a baby shower to you? Because she sent me an email."

I looked at my email, which I had just opened and saw that I had one from Annie too.

"Yep, I got the same email. She asked me about it a few days ago and I said it sounded fun. Why? You don't like the idea?"

"No, I think it's great. I was thinking maybe we could invite Madison…. And my mother."

There was a silence. It wasn't that I disliked Arthur's mother, I liked her very much. But Gabrielle Campbell was an intimidatingly perfect mother.

"Joan? Honey, you there?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding my head, even though Arthur couldn't see me. "I think it would be wonderful for your mother to visit."

"Ok, I'll give her email and Madison's to Annie. I'll see you later, sweetheart. Love you."

"Love you too," I replied. As soon as I hung up the phone, I went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Then I fished a bottle of Ibuprofen from a drawer to took two. This was gonna be one interesting shower. I scanned the rest of Annie's email, which suggested a small, low-key shower. I typed back a reply:

_Annie,_

_This sounds perfect. Low-key is exactly what I need right now. Thank you!_

_Joan_

I closed my laptop and changed into sweat pants and an oversize tee. Then I slipped into bed for a nice, long nap. Maybe when I woke up in the morning my self-confidence issues regarding my ability to be a good mother would be gone. And if not, at least my headache would be.

When I opened my eyes, Arthur was sitting next to me in bed, reading a book. I watched him for a while, observing the way the carefully turned the pages and how handsome he looked in his glasses with a soft smile on my face. When he saw I was awake, he smiled and bent down to kiss me.

"How're you doing?," he asked, putting a bookmark in his book.

"Fine," I mumbled, sitting up in bed. "Good. What time is it?"

"5 am," Arthur answered, laughing. You slept for almost 14 hours, darling."

I laughed too. "And now I'm starving."

I got out of bed and slipped my robe on.

"Care to join me for breakfast?"

"Yes," Arthur said. He got out of bed and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me. I kissed him and he kissed back gently.

"Mhhhmm," I whispered. "I guess I was hungry in more ways than one."

Arthur kissed my neck. "You know, we are up pretty early. We got some time."

I giggled. "Yes, we do."


	19. Chapter 19

Hey guys! I am so sorry haven't updated in months! I currently don't have a computer of my own, so writing fanfiction has become like catching Neal Caffrey: out of the hundred times it's tried, its only successful once or twice. I am also trying to develop another CA story and 2 or 3 Castle ones, so finishing this chapter took a while. I'm not sure how long it will be until another chp. is up, but my goal is to finish this story before season 2 starts (June 7th!) PLEASE review and enjoy! ;)

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** Joan's POV**

Arthur and I somehow managed to have some time in bed, eat breakfast, and be on time to work, which amazed me. When I entered my office, Jai looked up from his coffee and widened his eyes.

"I didn't think I'd see you for a few hours."

"Ha ha," I said, sitting down at my desk and turning on my computer. "Have you seen Annie this morning?"

"At her desk with a cup of coffee and a folder of paperwork."

I laughed and picked up the phone to call Annie at her desk. Jai signaled to his coffee cup to show he was getting a refill for himself and hot tea for me.

"Hello?"

"Annie, it's Joan. Please tell me you're not looking for more workable patterns."

Annie laughed. "Nope, baby shower stuff. But I do have Swedish newspapers if you want me to…"

"No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know finding patterns in foreign newspapers is sort of your default when you're upset."

I could see her grinning at her desk.

"I'm fine, but thanks. Are you okay? Because you're calling me from pretty much the other side of the room."

"Just lazy and extremely pregnant," I laughed. "I'll see you later."

I had just logged on to my email when my phone rang again.

"Hello?"

"Hey, honey."

Arthur. I melted at the sound of his voice. "Hey," I murmured, smiling at my happy reflection in the shiny monitor of my computer.

He laughed. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine. Annie is going all-out on baby shower planning. She wants to have it this Sunday, so she's sending an evite out tomorrow. It's just going to be you and me, Jai, Annie, Auggie, Madison, and your mom."

"Oh, that's what I called you about. My mother's flight gets in Friday. I'm going to pick her up at the airport in the afternoon and then I thought you and I could take the weekend off."

"Sounds great," I said, my heart sinking. Compared to Arthur's mother, I would be an awful parent. Like the ice queen bitch I used to be. My stomach tied itself in a knot and I started to stress. Shit. I took a huge gulp of water to ward off a panic attack.

"Joan?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I thought I heard you hyperventilating. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just… really have to pee. You know, pregnancy stuff." I gave a weak laugh. "I'll talk to you later, honey."

"Love you," Arthur said before we hung up. I put my head in my hands. I was doomed.

"Joan?"

I looked up to see Jai. You could see a look of concern on his face.

"Are you ok?"

_That seems to be the question of the day,_ I thought. I smiled. "Fine. Just in serious need of a hot beverage," I laughed, taking a cup of tea from his hands. "Thanks."

The day passed by quickly, luckily for me. Before I left work, I read an email from Madison saying she would get in Saturday and could only stay until Monday. I replied back offering to pick her up from the airport. This way, I could tell her all about my stress with Arthur's mother and she could give her wise advice. Sometimes you would think Madison was the older sister. I still went to her for guy advice, and I was the married one!

I had just stepped out of the DPD door when Arthur came around the corner with his briefcase in hand and a smile on his face. We met at the end of the hallway and he kissed me softly. I kissed back, but I was distracted. Fortunately, Arthur didn't notice.

"Let's go home."

Friday morning came and I couldn't get out of bed. I was actually anxious enough that I managed to throw up a little, convincing Arthur I had morning sickness. Between my anxiety about Gabrielle's arrival and my guilt of not telling Arthur how I felt, despite the promise we had to have full disclosure with each other, I was a very convincing sick person.

"What can I get you before I leave?," Arthur asked, putting his hand on my cheek. I lay in bed with the covers wrapped around me like a cocoon, and both my hands on my belly. Unfortunately, the look of pain on my face was real. I groaned a it. I was the most awful person in the world.

"Nothing, sweetheart. But thanks," I said, forcing a smile. Arthur leaned down to kiss my forehead. He was concerned for my health, such a wonderful husband. And I was a cold, emotionless bitch.

"I'll call to check in once I get to the airport. If you're feeling better, maybe we can all go out for lunch."

I shook my head. "No, I think I just need a day to rest. You have lunch with your mom. I don't feel up to eating anyway."

Arthur frowned. "Okay. Call the doctor if gets worse."

He walked to the doorway of our bedroom. "I love you."

"I love you too."

And he was gone. I sat in bed for hours, mindlessly flipping through the tv channels, reading baby books, crying. I hated myself, I really did. I felt too sick to eat. I was lying to my husband, and maybe even lying to myself. To think that I could be a good mother was almost laughable. Tears ran down my face, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to sleep.

I awoke to the sound of laughter coming from the living room. Slowly getting to my feet, I walked into the bathroom. My reflection looked awful. I had bags under my eyes, my blonde hair was it ratty waves, and my face was tearstained. The tip of my nose was still a little red. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and splashed cold water on my face. Then I went back into the bedroom and changed from my pajamas to a pair of yoga pants and an oversized maternity t-shirt.

"Joan, there you are!"

I emerged from the bedroom to see Arthur and his mother watching an old Saturday Night Live re-run and drinking wine.

Gabrielle rose up from the couch.

"It's been too long, darling," she smiled, giving me a hug. I hugged back and faked a smile.

"It's great to see you," I told her. It was the closet thing to the truth I'd said all day.

Her eyes sparkled. "Why don't you sit with us? We were just talking about Arthur when he was a baby."

A genuine laugh slipped out of my mouth and I slowly guided myself onto the couch in between Arthur and Gabrielle.

"Now this I have to hear."

Saturday morning came and I left for the airport almost an hour early. My purple maternity dress and grey flats had been set out since last night. I was pretty eager to get out of the house and see Madison. When I pulled into the waiting area at the airport, I pulled out my Blackberry and emailed Annie.

Joan_Campbell: Annie, how's it going over there? Am I missing a national crisis?

Annie-Walker: Joan? Shouldn't you be at home, bantering with an in-law?

Joan_Campbell: I miscalculated my sister's arrival time, so I'm at the airport.

Annie-Walker: You don't miscalculate anything… what's going on?

Joan_Campbell: Nothing. Oh, the plane is landing. I should get to baggage claim. I'll see you tomorrow!

God, Annie was perceptive. It made me infuriated and proud at the same time. I drove out of the waiting area and to the baggage claim area. And there she was. Long, blonde curly hair, endlessly skinny legs covered in dark denim, stylish pumps.

"Maddy!"

She rushed into my arms and I held tight. A tear actually slid down my cheek. When we pulled apart, Madison looked at me.

"Oh my god, are you ok?"

"Fine," I laughed. "I just really missed you.. and I've been kinda emotional lately."

"Oh no," Maddie sighed as she loaded her bags into my car trunk (she wouldn't let me do it). "I'll drive. You talk."

Madison and I sat at an outside table at a café near the house. I'd spilled my soul to her, and now I waited for her wise advice. She took a sip of coffee, then opened her mouth:

"That's complete BS."

I coughed. "Huh?"

"Joan, you are going to be a _fantastic_ mom. You are not a bitch. Your daughter will love you more than anything in the world and she'll want to be just like you."

A few tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. "Really, Maddy?"

She squeezed my hand. "Yes! Geez, woman, you sure are hormonal."

I laughed, feeling infinitely better than I had in the last few days.

"Thanks."


	20. Chapter 20

Here it is! The second-to-last chapter :) Thank you to readers who've been with me since the beginning and given such lovely reviews! Tell me what you think, and what you want resolved in the end. My goal is to complete this story before the season 2 premiere, or within the next week :) Enjoy!

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**Joan's POV**

It was Sunday morning, and even though Maddy and I had talked, I still felt anxious. I had been awake for almost and hour, but Arthur was still asleep next to me. Damn, if I could only have caffeine. Arthur stirred beside me.

"Good morning," he smiled sleepily. I smiled back. Maybe everything was going to be okay. I just needed to take deep breaths and remember what Maddy told me.

Arthur rearranged himself so I could cuddle up beside him. He kissed the top of my head and stroke my hair, and I was instantly soothed.

"Arthur?," I asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mmhmm, anything."

"Am I going to be a good mother?"

It just spilled out. All my fears over the last few days, in one sentence. Complete vulnerability, which I tried to stay away from.

"What? Joan, honey, how could you even ask me that?"

"It's just… your mother is perfect, and I don't feel I could ever measure up to that."

Arthur turned to look at me, and that's when I lost it a little. A few tears ran down my face, and before I could wipe them away, Arthur did.

"Hey, come on. You will be a fantastic mother, and our daughter will adore you. Strong, beautiful, powerful. You're one of the highest ranking women within the CIA! And I know you can do this." He kissed me.

I kissed back, feeling happy for the first time in days. Truly happy. I stared into his eyes. "Thank you."

He sat up and swung his legs around to the side of the bed.

"C'mon, out of bed."

I groaned. Now that I wasn't worrying myself awake at night, I wanted to sleep. It was likely that I had only gotten 5 hours of sleep last night.

"Annie, Auggie, and Jai will be here in an hour in a half. Madison and my mother will be back home in a few days, and then you can enjoy alternating your last 2 weeks of work with sleep."

I laughed and sat up. "Baby steps, Arthur."

"I'm just giving you something to look forward to," he grinned. I slipped off the bed and walked towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Oh, I have more than work and rest to look forward to once we have the house to ourselves."

He kissed my lips softly. "We don't have time for distraction."

I smiled coyly, then pulled my nightgown over my head and walked into the bathroom. I looked back at him.

"What distraction? I'm just taking a shower."

Arthur laughed. "I don't have time for that game this morning, Joan."

He walked to bathroom doorway and kissed my forehead. "I'll go check on Madison and my mother."

I had to laugh at myself as I showered. Had I really let my emotions get the upper hand on me? Since when did they hold all the power? Arthur was right. I was strong, and powerful, and I was going to be a good mother.

When I got out of the shower, I dressed in a maternity dress with a faint floral pattern and went into the kitchen to find Annie wearing a coral tank and a white skirt, helping Arthur with the food. I smiled and watched them for a few minutes, laughing together over vegetables and humus. It was nice to have Annie around. Sometimes I felt that she'd made me a better person, a softer one. And she reminded me of myself, in so many ways. Arthur looked up and saw me smiling. He caught my eye and returned the gaze of adoration.

"Hey, Annie. You look lovely," I greeted her warmly, walking up to the kitchen counter. She grinned back.

"Not as beautiful as you, you're glowing. How are you?"

"Good," I said, picking up a plate. "Let me help with that."

"No way," Annie said, taking it from me. The doorbell rang. "That's probably Jai and Auggie."

"I'll get it," I laughed. When I pulled open the door, I saw Auggie smile. Jai stood behind him, holding two presents and looking a little uncomfortable. I could understand how he felt. His father told him to steer clear of us if he wanted to go far in the CIA, and here he was on our doorstep!

"Joan," Auggie said, stepping inside and hugging me. I hugged back tightly.

"It's good to see you, Auggie."

"You have a lovely home," Jai said. He gestured to the coffee table. "I'll go put these gifts down."

I put my arm next to Auggie so he could take hold of it.

"I can't believe that I don't get to see the inside of the Campbell fortress," he joked. "How do I know you're not leading me to a dungeon?"

I laughed. "Trust me, it's just a normal house. Sort of boring, actually."

Auggie smiled. "I bet it's wonderful."

The afternoon went perfectly. Arthur introduced his mother to everyone and Maddy has fun meeting Auggie, Jai, and Annie. Everyone got along well, and the feeling of family was overwhelming. In a way, this was our little family. Arthur's siblings lived pretty far away, and he wasn't as close to any of them as I was to Maddy. As for me, I'd distanced myself from my father a while ago. But I liked our little unconventional family. Arthur's mother, my sister, and the three CIA agents, and the two of us. And soon we'd have a daughter. I couldn't think of a better way to raise a child than with these people supporting her.

Almost four hours later, we were saying our goodbyes to everyone. Gabrielle decided to take a nap, and Maddy was joining Annie, Auggie, and Jai at Allen's Tavern for some drinks. Arthur and I settled into bed with a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird (my favorite book) to read aloud to the baby. Arthur stroked my hair as I started in on chapter one. A few paragraphs in, I turned to Arthur and smiled.

"How did I get so lucky?"

Three weeks later, I was closing in on my due date and I spent almost every day in bed. A week ago, Arthur had decided it was time to officially put me on bed rest after I feel asleep on my office couch and refused to get up when Annie tried to wake me because the baby was kicking too hard. Now I spent my days in bed, reading to the baby and watching movies. Arthur was working hard every day to ensure he could have more time at home once the baby was born.

I had gotten so bored that I had watched the first 2 seasons of Friends and read every baby book I had twice, cover to cover. Oh, and opened the presents from the shower. Auggie had given us an extremely high-tech baby monitor, Annie a beautiful mobile of stars to hang over the crib, Jai a Barnes and Noble giftcard for baby books,vand Maddy some adorable baby clothes. Gabrielle had gone conventional and given us the actual crib, which we greatly appreciated.

The nursery looked more official now that there was furniture in it. Besides the crib, there was a bookself, a small dresser, a rocking chair, and Annie's mobile, which hung right above the crib. The stars sparkled and gleamed, as if they were just as excited as we were for the arrival of the baby. Arthur and I decided we wanted to get wooden letters to spell out the baby's name, paint them shades of pink, and put them on the wall next to the crib. One problem: we hadn't decided on a name yet. Arthur favored Kirsten, Annaliese and Rowan, but my favorites so far were Elise and Jacqueline. Arthur had suggested we use my mother's name, but I didn't want to go there. Imagining how hard it would be to tell our daughter the story of her namesake hurt too much. And I was emotional enough as it was.

I was slowly easing myself on to the bed when it happened. I felt like something was leaking out of me. It was an odd and slightly gross feeling, but I knew what it meant: my water had broken. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but it was no use. In a matter of seconds I was calling Arthur. The phone rang and rang, and I just when I was about to dissolve into panicked tears, he picked up.

"Joan? What's going on?"

"My water broke," I said, trying to put on a brave and calm voice. "The baby is coming."

"But you're not due for 3 weeks!," Arthur said, letting the panic creep into his voice.

"I know," I gulped. "Do you think that's bad?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to have Annie pick you up, I just sent her out to meet with a contact. I'll send Jai in her place, and I will meet you at the hospital as soon as I can."

"Ok," I nodded, even though Arthur couldn't see me. Tears collected in the corners of my eyes. I was scared. Arthur must have sensed this, because he soothingly reassured me: "You can do this, honey. I love you."

After he hung up, I grabbed my purse and slipped my feet into flip-flops. Never mind that I was wearing yoga pants and one of Arthur's old white v-neck t-shirts. I was too anxious to care about how I looked. A minute later, my phone buzzed with a text from Annie:

Annie-Walker: I'll be at your house in 5 minutes, just take deep breaths. Everything will be ok

I was overcome with affection for Annie. One of these days I really should tell her how often she's saved me. I heard a knock at the door and walked as quickly as a pregnant woman could to the door. When I opened it, Annie grabbed my hand and slowly walked me to her car. She opened the passenger door for me, and as soon as I sat down, she closed the door and got in the driver's seat. She looked at me.

"You ready?"

I sighed. Was I ready for everything to change? For the biggest test my marriage had ever encountered? To face my fears and anxiety that had built up in the last few moths?

"I don't think I ever will be."

And with that, Annie hit the gas.


	21. Chapter 21

Here it is, the final chapter! If I hadn't had technical difficulties that resulted in not having a computer for the last few months, this chapter would have been published around the baby's "birth date." Bonus points if you can tell me which Covert Affair's actor/actress's birthday little baby Campbell was born on! Please review with your thoughts and thank you for reading. When I started this, I had no idea it would be so long!

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**Joan's POV**

Serena Anne Campbell was born on March 25, 2011 at 8:13 pm. Arthur had arrived at the hospital no more than 15 minutes after Annie and I did, and Annie hung back and called Madison, Gabrielle, and Auggie to let them know I had gone into labor. It was the most pain I have ever been in, and it's safe to say that those women who only have one child are onto something. But at the same time, it's beautiful in a way. It sounds corny to explain it like that, but your perspective on everything changes. She was so beautiful when she was born, 8 pounds and 15 inches. Everything about her is tiny, from her toes to her eyes.

Naming her was easier than we thought after all. After she was born, I was exhausted and Arthur was holding her when he asked what I wanted to name her. I took a deep breath and then said, "I think we should name her after my mom."

"You sure? It won't be too hard for you?"

"No, it feels right."

It did hurt to think about my mom. When I was 23, I was visiting home for Madison's high school graduation. It was 3 days after her graduation, the night before I went home, and my parents were out to dinner, and we were watching a movie. The home phone rang, and the moment I picked it up was the moment I would regret for the rest of my life. It was a police officer, telling me my parents had been in a car accident. My dad was stable, but my mom was gone. I went into shock, crying so hard my entire body shook violently. I scared the shit out of Madison, who took the phone from me and learned the same thing I did. We later found out that the car that hit them was some guy being chased by police and FBI agents because of some terrorist act he attempted to execute. My parents and Maddy were living in Oregon at the time, and they had been chasing this guy since Canada. The bastard survived, and my mother was gone.

Now I'm staring down at Serena in my arms, wrapped in a blanket. She is sleeping, but I don't even want to look away from her peaceful face. I don't even look up when I hear Arthur re-enter the room. He walks to my hospital bed and I scoot over a little so he can sit with us. I grin at the _us_ part of that thought. Me and baby Serena. Arthur laughs.

"What are you grinning at? It looks like your face is going to break from smiling," he teases, stroking my hair.

I smile at him. "I'm just so happy."

He kisses Serena's head. "Me too."

After a few moments, Arthur says, "Annie and Auggie are outside. They said they'd love to see you and the baby when you're up for it."

I handed him Serena gently. "I have to use the bathroom, and then I'll be good."

When I emerged from the tiny bathroom in my hospital room, Annie and Auggie were standing by the bed, Annie's hand on Auggie's upper arm, and they were talking to Arthur.

"Hey, guys."

"Joan!" Annie threw her arms around me. "I wanted to stay after she was born, but the nurse told me it might be good to let you two sleep."

Annie had been in the room when Serena was born. I had explained to Arthur while we were waiting for my contractions to come that I felt the baby should have someone like Annie in her life, and being her godmother seemed like a perfect fit. Annie was good with kids, and she had done so much more for me than she knew in the last few months.

"It's fine," I assured her, getting back into the hospital bed. "Arthur, can you and Auggie maybe get me some water? I want to talk to Annie for a moment."

"Yeah," Arthur said, handing me Serena. He put his hand on Auggie's shoulder and awkwardly guided him out of the room. Annie and I giggled.

"Doesn't look as natural as when we help Auggie, does it?," Annie laughed. She sat down on the edge of the bed and cooed at the baby. "She is so beautiful, Joan."

"She's your goddaughter," I said softly, looking at Annie. "And her middle name is….Anne."

Annie beamed. "I feel honored."

"Do you want to hold her?," I asked. Annie nodded her head, and I carefully handed Serena to her. Annie automatically went into mommy-mode, cradling the little bundle in her arms.

"She's such a heavy sleeper."

"Yeah, until we get home, and then I'm sure she'll be wide awake," I laughed. "You know, Annie, I'm so glad she has you in her life. And I'm so grateful I've had you in my life the past year."

Annie looked at me, her eyes kind and beautiful. "What did I do?"

"You reminded me of me. Well, of who I used to be. Before things got complicated with Arthur and we stopped trusting each other. Before I was the Ice Queen-" I lowered my voice, even though my daughter was a newborn and asleep. "-Bitch of the DPD. You made me reevaluate myself, from your determined attitude on your first mission. And you've been there for me for the last 9 months, helping me get my extra work done, making sure I didn't pass out on my office couch, driving me to the hospital. I – we are lucky to have you in our lives."

I looked at my daughter, still sleeping in Annie's arms. "Right, Serena?"

Annie smiled lovingly at me, just as Arthur and Auggie were reentering the room, a glass of water in Arthur's hand. He set it down on the bedside table, and Annie handed him Serena. Then Annie leaned over and hugged me. I put arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you," she said to me. Arthur looked on with a grin.

"You told her?," he asked, settling back onto the bed next to me.

"Yeah," I said. I turned to Auggie. "Sorry you have to be here and hear everyone talk about the baby when you can't see her."

Auggie laughed. "It's fine. Anyway, how do I know you're not just tricking me and she looks all squished?," he joked. We all laughed. I marveled at how bright and joyful his eyes looked, despite his blindness.

"Take my word for it, Auggie," Annie said, smiling down at her goddaughter. "She's absolutely perfect."

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And that's that ;) Please check back with me occasionally, I have another Covert Affairs fic and at least 2 more Castle ones in the process of being written, and they will be published in the next few months, I hope!

Little Miss Isabelle – your idea of using Anneliese as a way to honor Annie and use Elise as a nickname was so good! I wanted to use it, but I also had a plan early on to address Joan's mother after setting it up a bit in chp. 20, and I wanted a little bit more emotional Joan even after her pregnancy. But seriously, you almost made me change the ending! However, you did give me a good middle name! Thanks for being an awesome reader with great name ideas :)

And a special thanks to Nicole, for helping me perfect the backstory of Joan's mother! ;)


	22. ANNOUNCEMENT

Hello _Breathe_ readers! I'm glad you guys were pleased with the way the story ended. Some of you even requested a sequel (Tempe4Booth, thanks for the begging). So, would you read a sequel? And what would you like to see?

Some things I would love to hear your input on: length, how much time should pass, more CIA vs. more childhood stuff...

Please hit up the reviews, or PM me!

xo, Lena


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